Divine Comedy

Somehow, I seem to know all of the most incredible women on the planet. I have the best, dearest, kindest, most selfless, most spiritual and most loyal friends you could find. They are the future mothers of the bravest generation to be born and they are the future righteous leaders of the Church. They are incredible.

One of these amazing women is one of the best things that has happened to me since coming to BYU. I'm lucky enough to get to spend an hour with her every week. I love and look forward to our conversations. There are very few people I get to talk about the things I talk to her about.

Today's topic: Divine Comedy.

No, not THAT Divine Comedy! :)

We were discussing our Father in Heaven, and how we love the moments when we can feel Him laughing with us (and sometimes at the silly things we do). I imagine its something like when my Nate asks me if he can drive the car or smear peanut butter on the windows or have all the candy in the grocery store line. I smile and laugh and think about how adorable he is and say "No buddy." Sometimes I ask Heavenly Father to let me have something that I really know I can't have, or I ask Him to get me out of a sticky situation that I knew not to get myself into, and He smiles and laughs at me and says "No, Bethany. But I love you."

And sometimes, something literally hilarious will happen, like when I trip and no one is around to see it or when I sing like a lunatic alone in the car, I'm certain He's chuckling at me. He is my father in every sense of the word.

And I can't wait to hear the new things He wants to teach me in Conference this weekend.

Thank you to my beautiful friend for being who you are.

Chloe.

As if the past post wasn't insight enough into my precious siblings. These are all from the past 3 minutes with Chloe:

1. She splayed out her toes in the air and said "I feel like the beast from Beauty and the Beast when I do this."
2. "Well, I was going to tell you something about musk oxen, but I forgot."
3. "What's the difference between a dead possum on the side of the road and a dead lawyer? There's skid marks before the possum."

She's great.

Dog Head

Me: Nate, why are the dogs barking outside?
Nate: Because they saw my hair.
Me: what???
Nate: Well, maybe they wanted a new friend, and they saw my hair, and thought it was a dog.



Love him.

Crazy Girl

I had such the craziest day today! It was good but crazy.

I had to be at work at 7 a.m. to blow up a bunch of balloons for the BYU LAW SCHOOL ALUMNI GOLF TOURNAMENT. So I did. Then proceeded to stuff them all into my car, which resembled one of those arcade games where you smash the gopher whenever its head pops up and as soon as you hit one another one comes up... yeah. So finally got the last balloon to stay, quick slammed the door shut AND....my keys were in there too. Awesome.

Ran inside the law school and found a hanger.
And a door stop.
And a tape dispenser to use as a hammer to jam the door stop in the window.
Tried to use said hanger and said door stop to break into my car, meanwhile the clock is ticking and they need the balloons at the golf course.
Finally gave in and called campus police to come help.
Woman with nasally voice told me it would be a $20 charge, cash only.
Short college student in coveralls drove a big pick up truck over and had to use 4 wedges to get into my car. (Jiffy, I love you. I really do.)
I gave said college student (Who's name was Joe) $20.
Drove over to the golf course with a billion helium balloons floating around my head.

Upon arriving at the golf course (back-up story, golf is kind of a huge joke in my family...we don't golf, support golf, watch golf, or even really classify it as a sport) I am told I will be driving my own golf cart out to some hole and monitor the old lawyer men so they don't cheat, because if they win they get a shiny new Mercedes Benz. I have never driven anything close to a golf cart before. No it wasn't hard but that's because I eyeballed that thing and told it to be nice to me. Also I might have prayed.

Sat in the golf cart for a lot of hours watching old lawyer men golf.
None of them won the Mercedes Benz.
I still don't understand golfing (it's supposed to be fun?)
I got to eat fruit and cookies
and then took myself out for Panda Express afterwards, because that whole dealio was crazy.
And then gave my Snot speech in Public Speaking.
I am now procrastinating writing an 8 page paper for Marriage Prep.
No, I am not engaged. I just wanted to take the class.
And I really love this song:

I'm Snot Lyin'

For my Public Speaking class on Monday, I have to give a speech and tell a personal story. Thought I'd share it with all of you....


I was in one of those places where you feel so safe and happy that nothing bad could ever happen to you. Snuggled up on my daddy’s lap in the old, comfy rocking chair at my Grandma’s house, my three year old self had not a worry in the world.
As it is in situations such as this, I became a little comfortable. Maybe too comfortable, in fact because somehow my index finger found its way into that infamous archeological dig site of my left nostril. And oh, what a treasure trove of artifacts was I in to discover that day!
After hunting around for a moment, I extracted what was sure to be the Smithsonian’s newest exhibit and displayed it right there on the tip of my finger. It took only a fraction of a second for my daddy to notice what I had unearthed and recruit my mom to put him out of his snot filled misery.
“Bethany,” my mom said gently “go get a tissue.”
Leave the safety and comfort of my dad’s lap? “No!” my toddler voice replied. (My dad’s disgusted face contorted further.)
“Bethany,” she tried again “go wipe your finger on a tissue please.”
By this time I had thought of the perfect solution. I could stay snuggled up with my dad and relieve his obvious disdain for my treasure. Before she could ask me to move again, I voiced my plan: “Okay, I’ll just put it back.”
So I did.

Mas

Love more.
Smile more.
Laugh more.
Forgive more.
Serve more.
Thank more.
Study more.
Run more.
Give more.
Pray more.
Live more.

Stay the Wolves

I watched that beautiful movie everyone is talking about, 17 Miracles.
One of my favorite lines is when a young girl is praying for help because her mother has given up and she wants her family to stay together. In her prayer she says "Please stay the wolves."

I find myself praying for the same thing, all the time, just with different words. And every single time, my "wolves" are stayed. They are chased away, and I am made stronger to face them when they come hunting again.

Again, I testify of the Savior Jesus Christ. He lives. He chases our wolves away. He has been with me, pushing my life's handcart every day. Sometimes He's the one that picks it up in the morning while I trail behind, wondering if it's even worth it and believing that I don't have the strength to move my aching feet one more step. I am so grateful.


Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow'r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.

Things that are making me happy RIGHT NOW

BYU Bookstore was having a sale. A poster sale. And I bought MY ALL TIME MOST FAVORITE PICTURE:



and I hung it up above my bed in Provo. It is a happy thing.

AND THEN. I have wanted a pillow pet for quite some time. Yes, I know how old I am. I still wanted one. My awesome friend brought me THIS:



He is the softest most beautiful thing. He sat in the passenger seat the entire ride home from Provo today. Speaking of rides, I am so thankful for THIS:



not mine, but he is in my care for right now to help me get to and from Abby. I named him Jiffy, after one of Chloe's friends whom I think is hysterical. (She won't inform her friend of this, because she thinks its weird...I would be honored to know if one of my friend's sister named her car after me. Just sayin')

Anyway. Last night at about 11 p.m. Emilie, Jiffy and I went to the store because I was in desperate need of THIS:
OH darn. The image wouldn't upload. It was supposed to be a picture of cold medicine because I hab a terrible cohd. *insert sneeze X 3*

Moving on. I'm so happy because I got a letter from THIS BOY:


He's a good friend of mine from high school. We have some waaaaaay funny stories. And our letters are equally hilarious. AND his little brother is taking my little sister to the Alta Homecoming dance tomorrow. And I'm doing her hair. And she's going to look so beautiful. And I'm way excited to send him pictures of the three of us.

AND. I kissed THIS BOY today:



He got into Jiffy with me and Chloe when I drove her to the Homecoming game. On the ride he informed me "I painted a dog today." To which I replied "that's cool!!" And then he said "wait....did you think I meant a real dog?"
:)


So. My life is pretty good right now.
And BYU is going to win tomorrow.
And the rain is pretty.
And I love the gospel.
And I don't like colds.

Beauty

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enought women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity." -- Margaret D. Nadauld

Music for a Nurse

This is the essay I had to write for my nursing application. It was an impromptu thing, so I wasn't able to save it so this is what I can remember off the top of my head.


Two days before I turned fifteen, my older brother Andrew was diagnosed with bone cancer in his left leg. Over night, my life changed from one of getting good grades, practicing my violin and developing my then awkward social skills to understanding what it meant to have a port accessed, the purpose of EMLA cream and the foreign names of chemotherapy. I also learned what it meant to be loved unconditionally by strangers, many of them nurses, who instilled in me a burning desire to become like them and love those who are suffering. My brother's cancer has shaped my future to plan to become a nurse.

When I first met Diane, (whom my family affectionately refers to as 'Nurse Diane') I was less than welcoming. She was Andrew's home health nurse and when she first came all I saw was needles and pain and a trespasser in my safe home. Had I known then that she would become so dear to me I would have been much more gracious. Diane was responsible for the physical wellbeing of my brother in between hospital stays, measuring blood counts and such as you would expect a nurse to do. What was so remarkable about Diane was that she also cared for the rest of our emotional wellbeing. When I mentioned I liked the way she smelled, she brought me a bottle of her lotion. She remembered our birthdays and always spent a moment with each of us during her visits. I plan to be the kind of nurse that she is, healing all the pain of the whole family, not just the physical pain of my patient.

Another nurse that has greatly influenced me was Andi. Andi was the first nurse Andrew had and was responsible for teaching us what to expect from the painful and frightening events in the future. She explained the procedures honestly, but was also kind and gentle and inspired hope. Andi has since become a good friend of mine and is never too busy to answer my questions and fears about becoming a nurse myself, regardless of the fact that I was never her patient.

Unfortunately, not all of the medical staff we met during Andrew's cancer were extraordinary. Those who were impatient, unkind or unfeeling left just as many scars as the surgeons did. I promised myself that I would never threaten my patients with more pain, as Andrew once experienced. I will exercise patience and wisdom when it comes to enforcing "have-to" treatments, never acting before clearing explaining the procedure to help eliminate fear. I plan to be an equal with those in my care, not a superior and not an imposer. I will never do anything to cause more harm than good to those I am trying to heal.

Although the year Andrew fought cancer was one of the most difficult and scary times of my life, I am grateful for the nurses and other medical staff I met and the experiences I had that have shaped my future. Because of that hard time, I have empathy and understanding for those going through similar things. My life was changed by those who touched it, and I plan to pay it forward by becoming the kind of nurse who is also your friend.

I Would Learn the Healer's Art

It's in.

I turned in my nursing application. Something I've been spinning towards for 2 years now.

I won't know if I'm accepted for several more months.

I'm prepared to be rejected, and then try again next semester.

But regardless of the outcome, and whether I learn it here at BYU or some other school, I will learn the Healer's Art.

(please pray for me)

Love Story

My dad just arrived from Cedar, extremely sweaty.

Why? Because he loves my mom A LOT.

Our van has been in the shop. And he wanted to surprise her with it all fixed. So he drove the van a few miles, got out, ran back for his car, drove it up to the van, got out, drove the van a few more miles, ran back for his car....ALL THE WAY HOME.

And then when he walked in all sweaty, he told my mom she looked beautiful.

True love.

The Challenge to Become

I'm taking the best class ever. It made me read this article. Loved it. I challenge you to read the whole thing. It may change your life.


In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something


The Apostle Paul taught that the Lord’s teachings and teachers were given that we may all attain “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Eph. 4:13). This process requires far more than acquiring knowledge. It is not even enough for us to be convinced of the gospel; we must act and think so that we are converted by it. In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something.

Many Bible and modern scriptures speak of a final judgment at which all persons will be rewarded according to their deeds or works or the desires of their hearts. But other scriptures enlarge upon this by referring to our being judged by the condition we have achieved.

The prophet Nephi describes the Final Judgment in terms of what we have become: “And if their works have been filthiness they must needs be filthy; and if they be filthy it must needs be that they cannot dwell in the kingdom of God” (1 Ne. 15:33; emphasis added). Moroni declares, “He that is filthy shall be filthy still; and he that is righteous shall be righteous still” (Morm. 9:14; emphasis added; see also Rev. 22:11–12; 2 Ne. 9:16; D&C 88:35). The same would be true of “selfish” or “disobedient” or any other personal attribute inconsistent with the requirements of God. Referring to the “state” of the wicked in the Final Judgment, Alma explains that if we are condemned by our words, our works, and our thoughts, “we shall not be found spotless; … and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God” (Alma 12:14).

From such teachings we conclude that the Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.

A parable illustrates this understanding. A wealthy father knew that if he were to bestow his wealth upon a child who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature, the inheritance would probably be wasted. The father said to his child:

“All that I have I desire to give you—not only my wealth, but also my position and standing among men. That which I have I can easily give you, but that which I am you must obtain for yourself. You will qualify for your inheritance by learning what I have learned and by living as I have lived. I will give you the laws and principles by which I have acquired my wisdom and stature. Follow my example, mastering as I have mastered, and you will become as I am, and all that I have will be yours.”

This parable parallels the pattern of heaven. The gospel of Jesus Christ promises the incomparable inheritance of eternal life, the fulness of the Father, and reveals the laws and principles by which it can be obtained.

We qualify for eternal life through a process of conversion. As used here, this word of many meanings signifies not just a convincing but a profound change of nature. Jesus used this meaning when He taught His chief Apostle the difference between a testimony and a conversion. Jesus asked His disciples, “Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?” (Matt. 16:13). Next He asked, “But whom say ye that I am?

“And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

“And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven” (Matt. 16:15–17).

Peter had a testimony. He knew that Jesus was the Christ, the promised Messiah, and he declared it. To testify is to know and to declare.

Later on, Jesus taught these same men about conversion, which is far more than testimony. When the disciples asked who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, “Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

“And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:2–4; emphasis added).

Later, the Savior confirmed the importance of being converted, even for those with a testimony of the truth. In the sublime instructions given at the Last Supper, He told Simon Peter, “I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren” (Luke 22:32).

In order to strengthen his brethren—to nourish and lead the flock of God—this man who had followed Jesus for three years, who had been given the authority of the holy apostleship, who had been a valiant teacher and testifier of the Christian gospel, and whose testimony had caused the Master to declare him blessed still had to be “converted.”

Jesus’ challenge shows that the conversion He required for those who would enter the kingdom of heaven (see Matt. 18:3) was far more than just being converted to testify to the truthfulness of the gospel. To testify is to know and to declare. The gospel challenges us to be “converted,” which requires us to do and to become. If any of us relies solely upon our knowledge and testimony of the gospel, we are in the same position as the blessed but still unfinished Apostles whom Jesus challenged to be “converted.” We all know someone who has a strong testimony but does not act upon it so as to be converted. For example, returned missionaries, are you still seeking to be converted, or are you caught up in the ways of the world?

The needed conversion by the gospel begins with the introductory experience the scriptures call being “born again” (e.g., Mosiah 27:25; Alma 5:49; John 3:7; 1 Pet. 1:23). In the waters of baptism and by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, we become the spiritual “sons and daughters” of Jesus Christ, “new creatures” who can “inherit the kingdom of God” (Mosiah 27:25–26).

In teaching the Nephites, the Savior referred to what they must become. He challenged them to repent and be baptized and be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, “that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day” (3 Ne. 27:20). He concluded: “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Ne. 27:27).

The gospel of Jesus Christ is the plan by which we can become what children of God are supposed to become. This spotless and perfected state will result from a steady succession of covenants, ordinances, and actions, an accumulation of right choices, and from continuing repentance. “This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God” (Alma 34:32).

Now is the time for each of us to work toward our personal conversion, toward becoming what our Heavenly Father desires us to become. As we do so, we should remember that our family relationships—even more than our Church callings—are the setting in which the most important part of that development can occur. The conversion we must achieve requires us to be a good husband and father or a good wife and mother. Being a successful Church leader is not enough. Exaltation is an eternal family experience, and it is our mortal family experiences that are best suited to prepare us for it.

The Apostle John spoke of what we are challenged to become when he said: “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (1 Jn. 3:2; see also Moro. 7:48).

I hope the importance of conversion and becoming will cause our local leaders to reduce their concentration on statistical measures of actions and to focus more on what our brothers and sisters are and what they are striving to become.

Our needed conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquillity, as Elder Hales taught us so beautifully this morning. Father Lehi promised his son Jacob that God would “consecrate [his] afflictions for [his] gain” (2 Ne. 2:2). The Prophet Joseph was promised that “thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (D&C 121:7–8).

Most of us experience some measure of what the scriptures call “the furnace of affliction” (Isa. 48:10; 1 Ne. 20:10). Some are submerged in service to a disadvantaged family member. Others suffer the death of a loved one or the loss or postponement of a righteous goal like marriage or childbearing. Still others struggle with personal impairments or with feelings of rejection, inadequacy, or depression. Through the justice and mercy of a loving Father in Heaven, the refinement and sanctification possible through such experiences can help us achieve what God desires us to become.

We are challenged to move through a process of conversion toward that status and condition called eternal life. This is achieved not just by doing what is right, but by doing it for the right reason—for the pure love of Christ. The Apostle Paul illustrated this in his famous teaching about the importance of charity (see 1 Cor. 13). The reason charity never fails and the reason charity is greater than even the most significant acts of goodness he cited is that charity, “the pure love of Christ” (Moro. 7:47), is not an act but a condition or state of being. Charity is attained through a succession of acts that result in a conversion. Charity is something one becomes. Thus, as Moroni declared, “except men shall have charity they cannot inherit” the place prepared for them in the mansions of the Father (Ether 12:34; emphasis added).

All of this helps us understand an important meaning of the parable of the laborers in the vineyard, which the Savior gave to explain what the kingdom of heaven is like. As you remember, the owner of the vineyard hired laborers at different times of the day. Some he sent into the vineyard early in the morning, others about the third hour, and others in the sixth and ninth hours. Finally, in the eleventh hour he sent others into the vineyard, promising that he would also pay them “whatsoever is right” (Matt. 20:7).

At the end of the day the owner of the vineyard gave the same wage to every worker, even to those who had come in the eleventh hour. When those who had worked the entire day saw this, “they murmured against the goodman of the house” (Matt. 20:11). The owner did not yield but merely pointed out that he had done no one any wrong, since he had paid each man the agreed amount.

Like other parables, this one can teach several different and valuable principles. For present purposes its lesson is that the Master’s reward in the Final Judgment will not be based on how long we have labored in the vineyard. We do not obtain our heavenly reward by punching a time clock. What is essential is that our labors in the workplace of the Lord have caused us to become something. For some of us, this requires a longer time than for others. What is important in the end is what we have become by our labors. Many who come in the eleventh hour have been refined and prepared by the Lord in ways other than formal employment in the vineyard. These workers are like the prepared dry mix to which it is only necessary to “add water”—the perfecting ordinance of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost. With that addition—even in the eleventh hour—these workers are in the same state of development and qualified to receive the same reward as those who have labored long in the vineyard.

This parable teaches us that we should never give up hope and loving associations with family members and friends whose fine qualities (see Moro. 7:5–14) evidence their progress toward what a loving Father would have them become. Similarly, the power of the Atonement and the principle of repentance show that we should never give up on loved ones who now seem to be making many wrong choices.

Instead of being judgmental about others, we should be concerned about ourselves. We must not give up hope. We must not stop striving. We are children of God, and it is possible for us to become what our Heavenly Father would have us become.

How can we measure our progress? The scriptures suggest various ways. I will mention only two.

After King Benjamin’s great sermon, many of his hearers cried out that the Spirit of the Lord “has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually” (Mosiah 5:2). If we are losing our desire to do evil, we are progressing toward our heavenly goal.

The Apostle Paul said that persons who have received the Spirit of God “have the mind of Christ” (1 Cor. 2:16). I understand this to mean that persons who are proceeding toward the needed conversion are beginning to see things as our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, see them. They are hearing His voice instead of the voice of the world, and they are doing things in His way instead of by the ways of the world.

I testify of Jesus Christ, our Savior and our Redeemer, whose Church this is. I testify with gratitude of the plan of the Father under which, through the Resurrection and Atonement of our Savior, we have the assurance of immortality and the opportunity to become what is necessary for eternal life. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

You'd think I lived in the Amazon....

Last night I felt a spider on my arm. I swear it was there. Crawling with it's hairy little legs up my innocent appendage. I woke up with a screaming roar. Literally. Emilie told me I scared her so bad. i slapped at it and began rapidly praying 'Don't let it bite me, don't let it bite me..."

When I woke up I decided I'm getting one of these:



I'll feel safer.

Blessings!

EVERYONE should go to the Temple before school. Here's why:

Because you'll have a super good hair day.
and work will call and say "Oh, the power is out at the Law School so....don't come in."
So now you have time to go and get your parking pass which you usually don't have time for, because you get home from school after the office is closed.
And also, you don't have to wear a skirt for once.
AND you can get up to the hospital to see your sister way sooner than you had originally planned!!
And there will be sunshine in your soul!!
And today is just such a good day. Because I went to the Temple this morning.