Mantra

Reasons

   Have you ever realized something from your childhood that explains a part of who you are today? Like when Andrew watches Peter Pan and knows thats the reason he always wanted to fly and write and a number of other things. I always note Abby's first surgery ten years ago as the spark that made me want to be a nurse. But....

   Maybe this is why I want to go into medicine:

My mom used to watch it with me when I was really little

And maybe this is why I have an affinity for bold, impertinent men who sweat too much, have a soft side, and don't shave their beards:

I

just

can't

get

enough

of

it.

"People who are popular when they're young... they often grow up to have very dull lives. And people who are different... they go on to be successful and make wonderful contributions."

-Dr. Mike

Happy Anniversary

24 years ago today

I love you!!

What Christmas Means

When I think of the birth of Christ, I think of what Him coming to this earth meant. It meant freedom. It meant love. It meant eternal joy for all of us.

Although some may label this as an Easter poem, it also makes me think of Christmas.

Empty Linen 

by Emily Harris

The linen which once held Him is empty.

It lies there,

Fresh and white and clean.

The door stands opened.

The stone is rolled away,

And I can almost hear the angels singing His praises.

Linen cannot hold Him.

Stone cannot hold Him.

The words echo through the empty limestone chamber,

“He is not here.”

The linen which once held Him is now empty.

It lies there,

Fresh and white and clean

And oh, hallelujah, it is empty.

Merry Christmas

A Few of My Favorite Things

Super dark chocolate
White and yellow roses
Gentlemen
Movies
Skirts
Handwritten letters
Red lipstick
hugs
laughing uncontrollably
unspoken comfort
high heels
Cardigans
blown kisses
the smell of clean hair
muscle soreness
text messages
BYU
sinking gas prices
victories
patriotism
sleeves that hang down to my fingers
my dad's sweat pants
newborn noises
my mom's perfume
whispering
swingsets
smoothies
finding new things in the Scriptures
underlining those things perfectly
color
triumphs
sunflowers
peppermint
musicals
classic rock
camping
balloons
books
HARRY POTTER
v-ball pens
being barefoot
Sunshine
starburst lilies
umbrellas
I love yous
boys that smell good
Superhero movies
Jazz music
Country music
twinkle lights
Cowboys
glitter
Sharing my testimony
going to the Temple
rain
Airports
The Soft Look
snuggling
cleverness
Hospitals
naps
jokes
Joy

Happy/Grumpy

Happy: being home
Grumpy: commuting back to Provo for work
Happy: going jogging with Abby (I am SORE today. That girl made me do lunges)
Grumpy: dentist today. Last fillings from the ones they found back in October....I broke my 20 year no-cavity streak. Now my mouth is numb in two perpendicular places. It feels awkward.
Happy: The gluten free thing isn't helping my hands. So I can eat whatever I want.
Grumpy: The gluten free thing isn't helping my hands. So I can eat whatever I want.
Happy: I got a letter.
Grumpy: I also got a small carbuncle.
Happy: I'm going on a date with my Lauren tonight.
Happy: It's Christmas time.
Happy: I love hanging out with my parents
Happy: This new year holds a lot for me.

(you all just googled the meaning of the word carbuncle, didn't you?)

In the Name of Love

(I borrowed this from NieNie, today is her 11th Wedding Anniversary)
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
Louis De Bernieres

This is something I learned this semester, Fall 2011. Partly from my marriage class, partly from watching my parents, and partly from me myself just learning.

   In my marriage class, we compared a marriage to the story of Christ as a shepherd, leaving the ninety and nine to find the one. My professor (who is a knock your socks off professor, I wish I could major in marriage prep just so I can only take his classes) taught us that in marriage, both spouses are the shepherd for each other, continually seeking out the one. Even when you're grumpy, or tired, or annoyed, or they have hurt you, they are still your one, and you are still their shepherd. That is love.

   My parents are so lovely. Its hard for me to talk or type about them because I get emotional. They will celebrate their 24th wedding anniversary a few days after Christmas. I'm so thankful for their love. I'm so thankful for their selflessness. I'm thankful for times to laugh. I'm thankful for eternal families.

   Now me. I've learned a lot about love this semester, particularly how the Savior loves me. Sometimes, its very hard for me to believe that He loves me free of charge. I often feel that I have to qualify, or 'earn' it. It's already mine. I can't earn it, and I can't take it away. I am loved. I am the one, and He will continually come after me when I stray. He will help me on the tests I am unready for, He will help me give the lesson I prepared the night before, He will bless me in every moment. He only asks me to try.

I am still learning. But I know that this season is about Love. God is Love. Love is Joy. Joy is Eternal.

Is he Amiable?

Two of the most frightening things in the world:
1) Sneezing while driving (and if you know me, you know I ALWAYS sneeze 3 consecutive times. The person driving and swerving in front of you is not drunk, she's sneezing.)
2) watching the blob of toothpaste fall off your toothbrush onto your shirt. WHY is it so impossible to remove that? Why does it have to be washed, you can't just wipe it off???

Last night, I did something I've always wanted to do. I got to volunteer with the Children with Cancer Christmas Foundation. A magical organization that gives the spirit of Christmas to children, and their parents. I think the fact that the parents are helped so much is what means the most to me, because so often the pain and hurt and suffering of the parent is overlooked when the child is fighting cancer.
    I get to go help again tonight, at the big family party. Coach Rose brings the BYU basketball team and they lift up sick little kids and help them shoot baskets, and they (and their siblings) get to pick out gifts and play and do crafts and meet Santa. I'm so happy to be able to give back.

I have one final left. Statistics. Wish me love.

Beautiful

Girls are not told they are beautiful often enough.
Not even half enough.
I say this because a complete gentleman told me I'm beautiful today. This man and I are not even very good friends. Barely more than acquaintances. But he told me I'm beautiful. Not "You look beautiful today," but "You are beautiful." Stunned, amazed, completely taken off guard.
    Then I got thinking about it. It shouldn't have surprised me. Every girl should know that she is beautiful. We are daughters of Almighty God. He made us. We are masterpieces. I suggest every woman get a testimony of her own beauty.
    To me, beauty is synonymous with light. The more light you have, the more beautiful you are. Doctrine and Covenants 50:24 says, "That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day." I am a seeker of light. I am a seeker of true beauty.
    I also think boys should tell girls they are beautiful more often.

A Beauty but a Funny Girl

I'm a princess.

For real. 

I'm going to be Belle for little girls' princess parties. Can. Not. Wait.

Click me

A Non Serious Post For Once

A photo. Because I haven't posted a photo in a while. Also I like my smile in this. 

As a few know, I am trying to live gluten free for the next couple of months and see if it helps my Excema (see post two below). So far it seems to have HELPED, but if I am going to give up bread and cereal and cupcakes and all that deliciousness, I'm going to have to see a much bigger result. We'll see. It is making me be super healthy, though. Too bad ice cream doesn't have gluten in it...
    Anyway, I have been craving Cafe Rio for the past two days. Craving. So I researched what has gluten there, and the answer was pretty much everything, which is too bad because it's my favorite restaurant. So I made my own, with chicken, lettuce, black beans, salsa seasoning, avocados, and corn tortillas. Very delicious if I do say so myself.
(My bosses gave me a whole box of Cakebites from Sweet Tooth Fairy for Christmas. Gluten filled AGONY.)
    I have two days of classes left, and three finals after that. Hallelujah! On to next semester, new classes and (hopefully) getting accepted to nursing school.

    Bryan emailed me voice recordings. Ask me if they worked when I tried to listen to them. NO.
    Ask me if the pictures he also emailed came through. YES.
    Ask me if I got a letter and an email(s). YES. YES.
    The yes's outweigh the no's. Win.

Ask me if I feel like I'm getting tighter and tighter with my roommates. YES. And I love them.

I miss my Aggie friends. A lot.

I have TWO (2) sketch ideas in my head for a potential comedic audition, aka Divine Comedy. Too bad the auditions are in September. If anyone wants me to practice, I will.

Oh and I rap now.

Speech

It was my last public speaking class tonight. We all had to give an impromptu speech. There was a basket of slips of paper with topics on them. We would pull two out, pick one, and have two minutes to prepare to give a speech.
   My favorite one was the last one, given by our professor. This was her opening line:

"There is an old cliché that says 'If you love something, let it go.' I think that is bad advice. If you love something, hold it close."

Mama. Daddy. Andrew. Chloe. Emily. Abby. Nate.

The Gospel.

The Savior.

The Book of Mormon.

Lauren.

Violin.

Laughing.

Smoothies.

Sunshine.

Happiness.

Deja Vu

Back when Andrew had cancer and I was fifteen, I fulfilled an interesting and undefined role. Nobody told me or asked me to, we all just knew it was my job and I did it.
   I would wake up at 5:30 in the morning, go to early morning seminary, and then to school. I would come home with my sisters at 3:30. Somehow we all got our homework and practicing done, and then I would make dinner or serve dinner, depending on if someone from the neighborhood was bringing food that night. Then I would get everyone ready for bed, and when my pregnant mom came home at 10 or 11 from being with Andrew at the hospital, we would lie on her bed and talk and cry. Then I would wake up the next day and do it again.
   I know without a doubt that I got through it with Heavenly Father's grace. I didn't even know what I was doing until it was over and I looked back on that year. It was completely impossible, and I could do it because He strengthened me.
   Yesterday at work, my mom sent me a text that said "I need you." My mom is tough and would never ask me to come home and miss work and school unless she was serious. So I called a subsitute for work, asked friends to take notes in class, hopped in Jiffy and drove home. She was really really sick yesterday.
   I noticed that I fell into "Cancer Year Mode" again. I went into overdrive. And at the end of the day, I couldn't believe what I had done, and that is because again I was strengthened to do what needed to be done.
   He truly loves us. He truly takes inadequate people and qualifies them for His service. I'm so grateful to be able to serve. I'm so grateful I'm able to serve. My absolute most favorite quote from President Monson goes something like this: "If the Lord needs an errand run, I want Him to know that Tom Monson will run it for Him." I hope to be that person. If the Lord needs an errand run, I want Him to know that Bethany will run it for Him.
   So, I guess the point of this blog post is to notice what God has done for you today. Notice how He has made you more than you are. His grace is everywhere.