What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

I woke up.

Showered off the 48 hours I worked this past weekend.

Drove to Provo.

First class: Physiology. 2 hours. Internet would not work to make class adjustments.

Class ended. Walked to Library. Used internet. Left library. Made a phone call. Went to the Nursing Advisement center. Finished turning in my application. Sat down and used internet to adjust work schedule, school schedule, books that have been bought on amazon, and other adult things. Helped a Freshman find her class. Went to next class. Was told class doesn't start until next week. Sat down and took advantage of the internet again to fix my schedule again. Went to Joseph Smith Building to print some forms. Sat down to see if a professor had emailed me. Internet would not work in that building. Left JSB and went to the Fishbowl to use the internet. Professor finally emailed me back. Walked down  the Cliffs of Insanity to the Smith Fieldhouse. Met with Professor. Dashed away from her to go to my next class. Left class and went back to Library to use internet, adjust more classes, fill out more forms, and begin my Physiology homework. Left library to go to bookstore to purchase textbooks for all my new classes. 

Went to last class.

Was late.

And sweaty. 

Left class to go back to my car to go home and away from this day.

Fixed the window that was being weird.

In the process of fixing the window locked myself out of my car. 

While it was running. 

Ran over to Brick Oven and demanded a phone book. Called a man whom we will affectionately refer to as The Robber, because he charged me $50 to unlock my car. Guess how long it took him. 3.2 seconds. 

Drove home.

I am currently eating delicious french toast smothered in peaches. My keyboard is getting sticky from the syrup.

I really don't care. 

Deseret Industries.

Hi I'm a bird killer.

Really. Both my birds have died.

I'm not really sure what I did wrong or what I could have done better. Maybe sing at them more?

Maybe they were old?

Maybe the second one missed the first one after it died and died of a lonely bird heart??

Really, I'm more sad about this than is probably logically okay.

My mom and I took a hiatus from the house today. We went to the DI where I found a fabulous mirror and a Neil Diamond record (it's a gift for a boy who sent me flowers on Monday.) I also bought an ugly painting so that I could have the frame. And also a huge Superman movie poster because my Nater has discovered Superman, and he thinks he is Clark Kent.

Then, so I could hang my mirror, we went to Hobby Lobby. While looking for mirror hanging tools we verbally planned my wedding. Girls do that, okay. Don't judge. We also found a stuffed Lamb Chop.

Then we were starved. So we went to Cafe Rio, be still my heart.

And then because we hadn't found what we needed at Hobby Lobby and it was in the same parking lot, we went to Lowes. We found the mirror hanging doohickie, and also we stole about a billion paint swatches. I love paint swatches. Someday I will create something amazing out of them.

One of the paint swatches was named "Canary." It did not make me feel better.

Also, a giveaway:: weandserendipity.blogspot.com

Femininity

Nie has put a word on something that has been hovering around my thoughts for a while, and I am so-o glad to have a label for it.
(I'm a word person, in case you hadn't picked up on that. I like words.)

The word is: Feminine

I'm discovering how important femininity is to me, and to you, since I assume most of you reading this are in fact female....and I'm resisting actually naming the boys I think do read this.
You know who you are. And if you don't, go look in the mirror. 
Anyway. Feminine.
God created femininity, don'tchaknow.
It is very important to our identities, our behaviors, our knowledge of self worth.
We are His daughters.

Things that make me feel feminine include:
curling up on the couch in oversized sweats
having hair that smells good
blankies
clean hands
flowers. I really love flowers.
Writing letters and seeing how my handwriting comes out
Making surprises for people
Being crafty
Laughing
Lipstick
Deep breaths
Baths. With bath salts.
Bundling the babies up at work and {if they're healthy enough} carrying them around with me to do my other duties
Clean sheets
Sunlight

It doesn't have to be the same for everyone. Femininity doesn't have a closed definition. It is different for everyone. But it is Eternal. It is wonderful.

Finish this sentence for me: Femininity is.......

Hi. I'm Bethany.

I always sneeze three times in a row.
I'm randomly sick out of the blue.
I have the best friends in the whole world.
And I'm a Mormon. 

No really, my friends are the best.
Because one of them has been emailing me all day while she's working and I'm sick in bed.
And another showed up with orange juice and chocolate chip coffee cake and then sat on my sick bed for hours talking and laughing with me.
about love.
and the gospel.
and life.
and school.
and also she held my hand.
and if she gets sick, I will feel really bad. 

And also, we're down to two weeks before school starts. Why am I having such a hard time grasping that concept? Maybe it's because I'm still on the wait list for 4 classes...in 26th, 17th, 16th, and 10th place. Woopee. 

Also. I saw Wicked.
I'm not kidding, it changed my life. 
Literally took my breath away, so much that I collapsed into my seat and gulped for air during the intermission. 
Basically, if someone is being mean to you, be nice back to them. 
Because maybe they have been treated like they have green skin their whole life, and they just need some love. 

And you know something I figured out? You don't have to find a reason to worry about everything. If there is not a clear and present danger, then just stop. I think it almost became a game to me, like "Oh here look, a swing set, let's find a way to worry about it!" as if life were a twisted I Spy book. 

I miss my babies at the hospital. It's been over two weeks since I've seen them. I'm coming babies! I just have to build up some antibodies first, kay?

*Mothers who have nursed babies*: how do you feel about Bobby pillows? I'm doing a research study.

The Double Ended Paintbrush

Sometimes people maybe think that the Atonement of our Savior is only an eraser. Only to be used to help us start over when we've made a mistake.

While this is absolutely true, the Atonement is not just an eraser. If you flip it over, the other side is a paintbrush. A paintbrush that the Savior uses to make something beautiful out of our lives, a masterpiece that we could never hope to paint on our own.

The Atonement can mean different things in different phases of our lives. I've used the eraser before. I use the eraser every day, actually. But my favorite is when I let go and stop trying to control everything and watch what the Savior is making of me, what He is helping me become. Sometimes, He paints with brilliant bright colors, and other times shades of gray are required to make the picture just right. But I trust Him. He is the master. He is the director of my Becoming.

For more information about this gift from our Savior, please click here

Look at your Fruit.

EFY is over. Which means summer is nearly over, as well. This has been the craziest summer of my entire life but it has been a blast. I have never been in the company of so many admirable peers. I want to be like them.

We had an incredible session director at this past session. I loved him and his family. He taught me something that I have been pondering and thinking and praying about for the past year or so.

He taught me to look at an orange. Any fruit will do, actually, but he used an orange. Besides the fact that oranges are beautiful to look at, if you become very acquainted with an orange you will notice that the little dimples all over the surface are actually tiny balls all joined together. The tiny balls are connected to a soft, squishy white material and together they make up the peel. The peel is wonderful because it protects the orange when it falls to the ground but is still soft enough for us to get inside.

Then you open the orange. The sharp tangy aroma of citrus hits your nose. You notice that there are different wedges, all safely encased in a thin package soft enough to bite through, but tough enough to manhandle. Inside the wedges are hundreds of tiny purses full of flavor that burst in your mouth and release the nutrient filled juice.

And then think of everything you can do with an orange! We have orange juice, house cleaner, air fresheners, hand lotions, shampoos, paintings, all inspired by oranges.

The scriptures say "By their fruits ye shall know them." (Matthew 7:20) Honestly, when the Savior created the world He could have put all the necessary nutrients we need to survive in a gray slimy block similar to tofu and said "Eat it" and we would have been fine. But instead, we were given beautiful food that smells nice, tastes delicious, and is intricately protected within peels. What does this tell you about Jesus Christ?

It means He cares about us. He cares that we have joy. He cares that the smallest things in our lives are lovely.

I used to believe that if I didn't work hard enough, He wouldn't help me. That somehow I needed to qualify for His help. That I was earning it. A different session director from this summer said to me, "Stop living your life as if you are trying out for the Celestial Kingdom. You're already in. Just live your life in a way so that you'll know how to be when you get there."

If He's going to go to all that trouble concerning my fruit, then certainly He will help me, regardless of if I feel like I deserve it. He knows my heart. He knows what I need. He knows me. And as I look at the world and the fruit and the people, I know Him. I love Him.


Tune in for my next EFY recap: The Double Ended Paintbrush