A Happy Me

Last school year was a really difficult time.
I tried not to blow up my blog with all the details and the doom and gloom of how I was feeling, but when I personally go back and read certain posts, I can feel and remember how truly desolate I felt. Very hopeless. Very sad. Very lost.

I'm so grateful for last year. I learned how to let it go and trust God. I learned that happiness is not getting into your program, having a significant other, being beautiful, getting perfect grades, having cute things, or knowing all the answers. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is living close to the Spirit so that you can see what step to take, one by one. Happiness is controlling our thoughts. Happiness is serving and loving something more than ourselves. Happiness is hope.

This beautiful thing keeps happening to me. I'll be sitting in class taking notes, or driving to work, or standing in line at the Taco Bell to get my $1.07 Fresco Bean burrito, and I'll feel that happy tremor resonate inside me: I am so happy. 

I'm busier than I was last year.
I work more, have harder classes, spend about 12 hours a week driving, still haven't started nursing school, and fall into bed exhausted every night.
But I am the happiest I can ever remember being.
So I am so grateful for that dark place last year, because now I can clearly see how bright everything is. How good everything is. How blessed I am. How kind and loving my Heavenly Father is, to have given me a year of trial so that I would appreciate this year of happiness.

I want to share some skills for how to cope with sorrow and disappointment. I'll just share one today. I want you to know that this skill seems simple, but it is just like any other skill and takes practice. Some days you will be amazing at it. Some days you will probably fail horribly. Don't give up. There is happiness ahead.

It's called stop thought.
Some parts of our bodies we can control: arms, legs, mouth, turning our heads, etc.
Some parts we cannot: heart beat, eyes blinking, digestive mechanisms.
Guess what. Your thoughts fall into the first category. Your thoughts are something you can control. It will take some training, but you CAN do it.

There was a boy I dated in high school. It is a very long complicated story, but I eventually got to the point where I needed to stop the relationship. I needed to close the door.
So I pictured a door closing.
Every.
Single.
Time.
I thought of him.
DOOR CLOSED.

I use this technique when my mind tries to tell me bad things about my body, or that I'll never be successful, or I'm going to fail the test, etc. etc. DOOR CLOSED. STOP SIGN. Don't go there.

I would love to hear about your progress and experiences. You can email me privately at bethany . coleman 21 @ gmail . com