Becoming Sister Lambson, part 3

Each week of EFY starts for the Counselor's on Sunday night. We meet, we get instruction from the session coordinators, we have a fireside with the session directors, we plan with our co-counselors, and then there is usually a party to make door tags with the youth's names before we go to bed.

I made sure to sit right by Benji during the door tag party, which was to his benefit since he didn't have any supplies to make his own. While we were making them I said, "Benji, tell me about your mom."

"She's an angel. She lives very close to the Spirit and I love her."

You're always told you can tell a lot about a guy by how he talks about and treats his mother. I loved the way he talked about his mom and I hoped in that moment that I would get to meet her.

After finishing door tags, we were walking back to our dorms and decided to just keep walking. He looked at me and said "Tell me your life story." I started with "Okay when I was fifteen--" he cut me off and said "No your whole life story." So I started again with "I was born...." We walked and talked about our families and memories and goals and defining moments. I got to hear more about his mission and he taught me the proper technique to restrain mice and pigs (he took a class on animal restraints once. Cool I know). The more we talked the more I liked him and the more I hoped he would somehow like me too.

On Wednesday of that week, I was in the shower late at night (because thats the only time counselors have to shower) and I was praying. I told Heavenly Father that I liked this boy so much. I told Him that I believed in agency and choices and I knew it wasn't right to pray that Benji would just like me back, but if it was right and if there was any hope for the future, that He would help me know what action I could take to bring about results. (To act and not be acted upon, right?)

Normally in my life answers come very slowly and quietly, and rarely right when I pray for them. But in this moment, I received a calm and clear idea: "Why don't you just tell Benji how you feel about him."

"Oh no," I prayed back, "I can't do that. I can't just waltz up to someone and say 'Hey I like you.'"

Again, I felt the idea that telling him straight out was the action I should take. So I prayed again, "Okay. I will do it. But I need Thee to tell me when is the right time."

All day Thursday I prayed and looked for the right time. He and I even sang a duet together on that Thursday, but I didn't feel like it was right to tell him yet. Friday came and I knew I had to find the opportune moment fast because he was leaving EFY early that night so he could fly to Cancun the next morning.

And then, I was on lunch duty. Word came that one of my sweet girls was in her room throwing up. I left my post to go find the health counselor, and she was sitting right next to Benjamin. While she and I talked he walked across the room and started playing the piano with some youth. As I walked past the piano to go take care of my girl, I had the feeling. Now was the time. I turned and said:

"Uh....all you youth need to leave to go to the Variety Show."

They all protested (including Benji) that it wasn't time yet. I said "No, I REALLY need you to leave and go find your counselors."

So reluctantly, Benji stopped playing the piano and they all stood up to leave.

Now I should mention right here that I was in a very quiet form of hysteria. Benji was walking away with the youth and I hadn't said what I needed to say. To get his attention again I asked, "Benji! Have you ever seen We Bought a Zoo?" (I was hoping to lead into my big announcement by saying something like "Well, I'm going to use 20 seconds of insane courage....") but he turned and said, "Nope. Haven't seen it. Is it good?"

"yep." I replied, and he turned to walk away again
"Benji!" I tried again, "I have to tell you something."
He turned and faced me and crossed his arms across his chest and looked right down at me. I was so scared and beet red and his face was way too close so I stared at the floor while I talked about 80 miles an hour:
"Um you should know I've never done this before. I think you're awesome, and I'm really interested in you, but I consider the ball totally in your court and I just wanted you to know." And I promptly turned to leave.
"Wait! Can't I give you a hug or something?"

So I ran back so he could give me a hug, and I said "and I hope you have a great time in Mexico."

at this point my adrenaline was exploding so I ran off and out of the Wilk and all the way up to the dorms to take care of my poor throwing up girl, grinning all the way.

A creeper picture one of the counselors took of me introducing Chloe to Benji during lunch one day. Everyone already knew I liked him

Becoming Sister Lambson, part 2

EFY 2013 was organized a little differently than it had been in the past.

The counselors were grouped into teams, and each team had a "route" or set of weeks that they would all work together. The idea was team unity, continuity, and less counselors working more weeks.

My team (Team Taco Forever!) Worked EFY Salt Lake City Special, Tacoma 1, Tacoma 2, Tacoma 3, Provo 8b, Ogden Stay at Home 2 and Ogden Stay at Home 3.  I picked up an extra week, Provo 2b the week of June 6th, which is where I met Benji. He wasn't on my team and we would never have interacted if I hadn't picked up that extra week.

But then I met him and he impressed me and the week ended and I knew we weren't going to work together again the rest of the summer and he would be surrounded by tons of fabulous and impressive female EFY counselors and I just couldn't let that happen. I had an irrational crush on this handsome guy based solely on the fact that he was nice to me and I knew he had a testimony, and I couldn't get him off my mind.

So I turned to Facebook.

So I went off to Tacoma and had an incredible time. Whenever my sweet and sassy EFY kids would ask me which counselor I liked I always told them "Oh, he's in Utah..."At one point I got the courage to text him and send him a Snapchat (I hate snap chat. The things we do for pursuit) and then I spent all my spare time analyzing everything he sent (because I'm a girl. I know.) I knew that we would both be in Provo for the 8th week of EFY, but in opposite sessions so we wouldn't really get to talk or see each other at all. 

And then a miracle: The EFY office emailed me and said they needed more counselors on 8a, and they were switching me over. 

Pretty sure the Hallelujah chorus was heard across the country. 

Becoming Sister Lambson, part 1

Once upon a time

on June 6, 2013

there was an EFY counselor having a hard day.

Her heart was feeling a little tender after a negative encounter with a past boyfriend. (Cue Garth Brooks' Unanswered Prayers)

While making the exodus from the Wilkinson Student Center to the Helaman Halls dorms, she fell in step with a handsome EFY counselor wearing a dark suit and a blue tie. She looked over at his name tag and read "Benji". She thought that name was a little different, but she was trying to distract herself from the earlier negativity so she put on her brightest tone of voice and said "Benji! Tell me about yourself."

So they started talking. He mentioned he was studying Public Health at BYU. She began talking very fast about all the fabulous health classes he should take. He told her he served his mission in Africa. She told him she wanted to be a nurse. Eventually they got to a point where they both knew they were headed to opposite buildings, but they weren't done talking.

"You probably need to go this way." She said, pointing to the left.
"Actually, my building is way back there," He gestured back to where they had come "but can I walk you to your door?"

So he walked her to her door. Her faith in the entire male gender was restored with that one act of chivalry.

And now she was interested.

(Not sure if this was taken the actual day, but thats for sure what he was wearing)

(this was taken on the actual day.)

Becoming Sister Lambson

The last few weeks my work schedule has been non-conducive to BenjiBethie time. I’ve worked at the hospital Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and nannied Friday nights. So on Monday (February 3) when Benji said “We should go out and do something fun tomorrow night” all I thought was “Yes! Steal date nights whenever we can!”

    We began texting date ideas back and forth. He mentioned he would like to go see the Ice Castles in Midway. I thought that was a fun idea, but then suggested we build a bonfire up Provo Canyon. He agreed to do that, and then remembered that neither of us had any snow gear with us in Provo. He again suggested the Ice Castles, and said we could visit his aunt and uncle who live in Midway. I agreed that it would be fun since I’d never seen the castles before.

     Tuesday (February 4), I was on the phone with my mom and mentioned Benji and my plans for that night. She said “Oh my gosh. Maybe he’s going to put a ring on you!” I emphatically denied this, explaining to her how we had just randomly come up with the idea, and I was pretty positive he still didn’t have the ring anyway. She said "well at least charge your phone so you can take some pictures if it happens." I still thought it was impossible, but she had planted an idea in my head and I decided to go do my hair so that IF something happened, I would at least look cute.

     Benji’s classes ended at 3:15 on Tuesday, and I knew he had planned to go back to his apartment and shower before our date. At 4:00, I texted him. No response. At 4:30, I texted him again and said “this is the longest shower of your life.” No response. I started to get suspicious. Maybe he went to pick up the ring---no no no there’s no way stop trying to convince yourself. At 5:00 there was a knock on my door and a very handsome man on the other side of it. I gave him a fake glare for not texting me back and he explained that he had hit his bumper on the curb and had to unscrew a piece. See? He had to take care of his car. That’s what took so long.

      We left for Midway around 5:45. When we got there, he said “So I’m feeling kind of hungry now, do you care if we go eat before we see the ice castles?” If he was proposing tonight, things would be planned out perfectly and he wouldn’t just randomly want to go eat food. I agreed and he let me pick the restaurant.  We went to the Café Galleria and all I wanted was hot chocolate (and it was the best hot chocolate I have EVER had). Benji has often told me that hot chocolate makes him so full that his stomach hurts, and we had two mugs of it each. After dinner he left for the bathroom. After about 10 minutes my thoughts started to run wild. He’s probably on the phone with people planning stuff. Maybe this is really happening tonight. No no no he ALWAYS says that hot chocolate hurts his stomach, that’s why he’s been gone so long.

    He came back and walked me out to the car and opened the door for me. Right then his mom called. !!!!!! His mom is calling to confirm plans!!!! I firmly expected him to close the door and stay outside the car talking to her so I wouldn’t hear, but then he got right into the car next to me while he was still on the phone. That’s it. If he was proposing tonight, there’s no way he would talk to his mom where I could hear. He told his mom that yes we would be happy to go pick up a book from his aunt and uncle’s house for her.

    So we went to Theresa and Ezra’s home to pick up the book and ended up sitting and chatting with them for about 20 minutes. At one point Benji left to use the bathroom again and I didn’t think anything of it, I had already decided there were way too many signs that it wasn’t happening tonight. At 8:30 he said, “Well, the ice castles close at 9. Maybe we should get down there and see them.” We hugged Theresa goodbye and left to see the ice castles.

     We walked around inside the beautiful castles for a while and I was very concerned about Benji being cold because he hadn’t brought gloves. Under the guise of keeping himself warm, he gave me a hug and WOULD NOT LET GO (which is not abnormal for us, really, he does it all the time) but I kept trying to get him to go off in one direction and he kept keeping me right where we were. Eventually he walked with his arms still wrapped around me, but my vision and ability to direct myself were very obstructed. He finally let go and said “Can I ask you a question?” OH MY WORD HE’S DOING IT. “Yes….” I said “So, which way did you want to go?” Bethany, you are being so hypersensitive. “That way,” I pointed and we went under an icy arch. When we came around the other side, he started hugging me tight again so I couldn’t move and he said, “Do you trust me?” I said yes.  Then he said again, “Can I ask you a question?” I said yes, and he said “Bethany Christine Coleman. Will you marry me?” I gasped and smiled and gave him a kiss and said yes (of course) and then all of a sudden his dad and brother Levi appeared out of no where (they were behind me, hence the bear hugging and vision obscuring)  filming and taking pictures. 

     As it turns out, he WAS on the phone both times he had gone to the bathroom, he had planned to propose in Midway because thats where we had our first date, his mom calling to send us to get a book was to stall long enough for his dad and brother to get there ahead of us, and he HAD gone to get the ring after class, but conveniently (sort of) hit the curb so he had a perfect alibi for why he had taken so long.

Last May, I wrote a blog post titled Threshold. A year and three days after that blog post was written, I will be in the Temple being sealed forever to Benjamin Lambson. I believe in God and in His timing, which is perfect. I'm grateful for Benji and for the person he is helping me become. I'm grateful that he is willing to make promises and covenants to me that cannot be broken by any force on this earth. I'm grateful that I have lived my life to be worthy of someone like him, and that we have so much joy. 

To be continued. Forever.

Why I'm Happy

2 Nephi 2: 25 

"Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy."

Over the last month, I noticed that whenever someone asked "How are you? How are you doing? How is your life? How is nursing school?" I answered like this:

"I am so tired."

Two weeks ago, I realized something else. I'm in college. I'm in nursing school. I work three night shifts a week. Sometimes I get home from work at 3 a.m. and have class at 9. I nanny on the weekends. I spend all my spare time with the most wonderful man ever. Likely, until I graduate in 2016, (and probably for the rest of my life because someday I will be a mommy and a nurse) I will be tired. I will never stop being tired. Thats what happens when you are working and in school and you snatch sleep in 4 and 5 hour increments. 

I decided that I don't want to answer with those words anymore. I'm tired. There, I said it. That is how I am going to feel for a while. But I'm done saying it. I'm done leading with that phrase. 

Because besides tired, I am also

rocking my nursing classes

learning to like my job (still miss you, Infant Unit)

taking a cycling class and enjoying myself

spending time with my scriptures

and mostly, I am just deliriously happy all the time.

Yesterday during Sacrament Meeting I was thinking about the Atonement. And how the Atonement can help me choose happy even when I feel so tired. I realized that Jesus Christ already felt the tired. He already did it. Someone has already felt all of Bethany's weariness, so I don't need to linger on it. He did. So I can move on and just be happy. 

Another scripture (because I love those guys): Doctrine and Covenants 64:33 "wherefore, be not weary in well doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great." 

Its not like I'm "spending my strength for naught" (reference). I am busy with much well doing. I am laying foundations of excellent nursing practice, a strong body, bright testimony, and happy relationships. And I believe that a small thing like changing my response when someone asks "how are you?" will bring about great results. Possibly even more energy. But I am choosing happy, because I don't have enough time to be anything else.