Becoming Sister Lambson, part 3

Each week of EFY starts for the Counselor's on Sunday night. We meet, we get instruction from the session coordinators, we have a fireside with the session directors, we plan with our co-counselors, and then there is usually a party to make door tags with the youth's names before we go to bed.

I made sure to sit right by Benji during the door tag party, which was to his benefit since he didn't have any supplies to make his own. While we were making them I said, "Benji, tell me about your mom."

"She's an angel. She lives very close to the Spirit and I love her."

You're always told you can tell a lot about a guy by how he talks about and treats his mother. I loved the way he talked about his mom and I hoped in that moment that I would get to meet her.

After finishing door tags, we were walking back to our dorms and decided to just keep walking. He looked at me and said "Tell me your life story." I started with "Okay when I was fifteen--" he cut me off and said "No your whole life story." So I started again with "I was born...." We walked and talked about our families and memories and goals and defining moments. I got to hear more about his mission and he taught me the proper technique to restrain mice and pigs (he took a class on animal restraints once. Cool I know). The more we talked the more I liked him and the more I hoped he would somehow like me too.

On Wednesday of that week, I was in the shower late at night (because thats the only time counselors have to shower) and I was praying. I told Heavenly Father that I liked this boy so much. I told Him that I believed in agency and choices and I knew it wasn't right to pray that Benji would just like me back, but if it was right and if there was any hope for the future, that He would help me know what action I could take to bring about results. (To act and not be acted upon, right?)

Normally in my life answers come very slowly and quietly, and rarely right when I pray for them. But in this moment, I received a calm and clear idea: "Why don't you just tell Benji how you feel about him."

"Oh no," I prayed back, "I can't do that. I can't just waltz up to someone and say 'Hey I like you.'"

Again, I felt the idea that telling him straight out was the action I should take. So I prayed again, "Okay. I will do it. But I need Thee to tell me when is the right time."

All day Thursday I prayed and looked for the right time. He and I even sang a duet together on that Thursday, but I didn't feel like it was right to tell him yet. Friday came and I knew I had to find the opportune moment fast because he was leaving EFY early that night so he could fly to Cancun the next morning.

And then, I was on lunch duty. Word came that one of my sweet girls was in her room throwing up. I left my post to go find the health counselor, and she was sitting right next to Benjamin. While she and I talked he walked across the room and started playing the piano with some youth. As I walked past the piano to go take care of my girl, I had the feeling. Now was the time. I turned and said:

"Uh....all you youth need to leave to go to the Variety Show."

They all protested (including Benji) that it wasn't time yet. I said "No, I REALLY need you to leave and go find your counselors."

So reluctantly, Benji stopped playing the piano and they all stood up to leave.

Now I should mention right here that I was in a very quiet form of hysteria. Benji was walking away with the youth and I hadn't said what I needed to say. To get his attention again I asked, "Benji! Have you ever seen We Bought a Zoo?" (I was hoping to lead into my big announcement by saying something like "Well, I'm going to use 20 seconds of insane courage....") but he turned and said, "Nope. Haven't seen it. Is it good?"

"yep." I replied, and he turned to walk away again
"Benji!" I tried again, "I have to tell you something."
He turned and faced me and crossed his arms across his chest and looked right down at me. I was so scared and beet red and his face was way too close so I stared at the floor while I talked about 80 miles an hour:
"Um you should know I've never done this before. I think you're awesome, and I'm really interested in you, but I consider the ball totally in your court and I just wanted you to know." And I promptly turned to leave.
"Wait! Can't I give you a hug or something?"

So I ran back so he could give me a hug, and I said "and I hope you have a great time in Mexico."

at this point my adrenaline was exploding so I ran off and out of the Wilk and all the way up to the dorms to take care of my poor throwing up girl, grinning all the way.

A creeper picture one of the counselors took of me introducing Chloe to Benji during lunch one day. Everyone already knew I liked him