OH, this has gotta be the good life

Yesterday was an emotional day.

I said goodbye for 18 months to this girl:

We've been together through some of our deepest pain and moments of loneliness. I was lonely as a sophomore in high school and prayed for a friend. She is who I was sent. She is so brave, so strong, so faithful. She is loyal to her friends and to the Lord. She will serve Him brilliantly in Florida, and that is the only way my heart can handle the pang of her being gone from me. 

Also, I resigned from my job.

Yes, the most perfect amazing job that I love with all of my heart on the Infant Unit at Primary Children's.

The one where the nurses feel like my sisters or my aunts or some other form of family. 

The one where I've made big mistakes and been given second chances.

The one where I have fallen in love with my patients every single day.

Yeah, that one. 

I'm moving to Provo. And I will be there of a surety for the next 3 years as I follow one of my biggest dreams to become a nurse. God is so, so good and has blessed me with a new job, one that is much more conducive to a nursing student, at the hospital in Provo. I am grateful. 

(Also, this is going to make the idea of commuting from Provo to Salt Lake at 4:30 in the morning for work inconceivable.) 

Life is changing. MY life is changing, specifically. Things are falling into place like a magnetized puzzle. It is wonderful to watch the mysteries of God unfold into blessings and circumstances, even if that includes some goodbyes and heartaches. I'm thankful to have the capacity to love so much, because without that ability, it would not hurt to say goodbye. 

We Remember Moments

Once upon a time, I went to Disneyland. 
I was super hesitant to go, but decided last minute (at the urging of my Mother, love her) to just do it.

There are literally no words!! It was the most fun I think I have ever had, ever. 

Things I don't want to forget:

• 5 of us being totally squished in an Accord, but just being okay with it and lounging all over each other. 
• Playing EFY Family Home Evening games in the hotel pool because it was a Monday night, naturally!
• Going against my other personal law and watching Nacho Libre in its entirety. And by 'watching' I mean viewing it through the tiny slit in my eyelids because I was so exhausted. 
• Singing the Firm in the Faith theme song in line for Indiana Jones
• I, Bethany Coleman, overcoming the lifelong and irrational fear of roller coasters and just going for it. If you want to give me a blood test to make sure I am still myself, go ahead. 
• Riding Splash Mountain over, and over, and over, and over, and getting SOAKING wet from splashing each other. Also getting yelled at to "keep your hands inside the ride!"
• Getting stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel and watching Benji's facial expression when I weaseled my fingers between the doors. 
• Being given ultimate fast passes to any ride, any time, because of being stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel. 
• The time and attention Ryan put into a fabulous date which included meeting Belle and being given more ultimate fast passes. (Thank you again!!)
• The time when we rode Space Mountain and I turned to Benji and said "Oh no, that was our last ride!" His reply, "It doesn't have to be." and then, THEY SENT US THROUGH THE RIDE AGAIN. There was a huge line. #hugelinedon'tcare #twicebacktoback #lifemade 
• World of Color. Self explanatory. I squealed like a three year old girl meeting Princess Belle. 
• Park Hopping. Also known as bad Fast Pass planning. 
• Late night Del Taco runs, taco-ception, nacho cheese, and everything else that happened with that 
• Being brave enough to ride Tower of Terror. Twice. And actually enjoying it the second time.
• That one time in the arcade with three tokens and Preston and Benjamin. 
• The Peanut Butter Jelly dance flash mob at the Mad Hatter's T Party
• Ordering Pizza on wednesday night, because it was Wednesday night, naturally!
• Going to the beach and playing Signs in the ocean
• Casey being worried about my dehydration and force feeding me 5 bottles of water
• Doing a session with Brianna, Elyse, Benji and Preston at the Newport Beach Temple. (SO stunning)
• Skipping down to Mexico and the sensation of just walking right out of my country into another.
• Experiencing a little piece of Mexico from a non-Tourist perspective.
• My desire to learn Spanish quadrupling 
• Eating authentic delicious SO spicy tacos
• Deciding to ditch the original schedule and going to the San Diego Temple, which turned into a 3 hour adventure with some lovely and patient Sealers and performing sacred Sealings with the four friends who have become so dear to me
• The feeling of walking into the Celestial Room and having my breath totally taken away. "I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me" has new meaning after seeing that Temple. 
• Brianna, Elyse and I taking a hiatus into the Bride's Room where we sat and prayed and cried and talked and loved each other 
• Driving to Las Vegas and not arriving until 3 a.m., but having fabulous faith-increasing conversation with my darling Elyse
• Waking up and eating breakfast with the most beautiful little baby boy with a darling laugh
• giving Benji foot surgery in the car

Thank you to Casey for sharing your knowledge and expertise with us, and also for the sweet parting gift and note.
Thank you to Brianna for your high energy, unconditional love, and for making us all giggle all the time.
Thank you to Elyse for helping me feel brave, sharing your thoughts with me in the Temple and at the beach, and helping me stay awake while I was driving.
Thank you to Preston for making us all laugh super hard, for coming and being with us even though you didn't know any of us initially, and for helping me Saturday afternoon with youknowwhat
Thank you to Benji for bringing the car, being flexible with the plans, helping everyone to feel like they got to see and visit everything that was important to them, and for letting me squeeze the life out of you when I was terrified.
Thank you to Ashley for sharing the hotel room with me, for being with us, for riding Splash Mountainn again when you did not want to, for giving me advice, and for sharing your Scooby Snacks :)
Thank you Jake also for going our group, sticking your head in the trash can even though I missed that part, and telling me I was brave and could do anything.
Thank you to Melodee also for coming even though you didn't know anyone at the start!! Thank you so much for becoming my friend and for making the beach super fun and for sticking with me when I felt tired. So happy to have met you. 
Thank you for spending Tuesday with us, Aminta! We felt short one very important person for the rest of the week, but we were glad to have you for at least part of the time. Thanks for giving us massages in line and for your bright, beautiful smile.

Thank you, everyone! It was incredible and amazing and the best trip to end the Summer ever! 

Take My Yoke Upon You

One of my all time favorite classes at BYU was given by Professor Matthew Grey on the Four Gospels of the New Testament. I remember when I met him he said, "Bethany...that's an appropriate name for someone in a New Testament class."

I learned so much about the culture and customs of the Savior's world, and why His actions and statements were so shocking to those around Him.

I remember praying one Sunday about Matthew 11:29-30 which says "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

That scripture did NOT make me feel like I could do hard things, it made me feel overwhelmed. Knowing that Jesus Christ can do and has done all things, including the saving Atonement, "which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit-" (reference here) the idea of taking His yoke and His burden upon me sounded horrible. It did not sound easy. It made my burdens seem heavier, not lighter.

So I was praying one Sunday, asking about how that scripture was supposed to bring me comfort, when my burdens felt so heavy already, and I didn't want to take on the even heavier load of the Savior's yoke.

I walked into class on Monday and what do you know, my prayer was all set to be answered.

The customs of the Jews during the Savior's day included many "extra" rules that were not revealed as necessary from God. They included the rules about how many steps could be taken on the Sabbath, no work or healing should be performed on the Sabbath, etc. (Considering the fact that the Savior broke all of these rules regularly, it helps give clarity to why they wanted to kill Him so badly.) The Greek word used in translation for this set of extra rules was called the Yoke. So essentially, what the Savior is saying in Matthew 11 is "take my commandments upon you, and not all the extras, for mine are easy."

My awesome professor then said, "How often do we do this in modern day? How often do we burden ourselves and others with 'extra' rules and judgements that really aren't necessary?"
How often do we convince ourselves that Sabbath Day worship just won't be the same if our clothing is not the best of the best? Or we didn't create a handout for our lesson?
Or those neighbors, they let their kids do that??
You mean you don't have an hour of family scripture study a day?

No. The Savior is not like that. He has given us the commandments and rules that we should follow in order to bring joy and peace to our lives. And have you noticed, no where in the scriptures does it say "Do your very best"? Instead, we are asked to strive and to be faithful. That means progression and constant effort and never giving up.

So don't make your life harder with a yoke that we were not given. Do not compare. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Only worry about the things God has asked us to do, and not with all the extra pressures the world places on our backs. Their yoke is heavy, but His is light.

photo cred

Summer Came

I went swimming today, for the first time in 2013.

I've been a little busy, you see, and hadn't yet donned the swimsuit. I felt so happy, smelling like sunscreen and chlorine and getting toasty brown like a marshmallow roasted to perfection.

(Speaking of roasted marshmallows....lets do that....anyone? anyone? bonfire? please?)

Also, life is giving me whiplash:

I have three friends who are very dear to my heart.

One of them is on a mission.

One of them has a mission farewell on Sunday.

And I am currently making a baby gift for the other.

Also, I have a new goal that was born at EFY this summer. The goal is to switch my scripture study from evening before bed to first thing in the morning, because mornings are when we study the scriptures at EFY and I really, really loved how that felt.

So I am changing the habit.

And my testimony of the day is this: God hears you. He loves you. I know this because I've offered a few personal, specific prayers in the last few days and He has answered them. Only He knew what was weighing on my heart, and He found ways to send me quiet reminders of His love. He. Loves. Us.

I hope your days are full of sunshine.

Miracle Summer

The Bethany that left for EFY in June is not the same Bethany that is writing this post.

This Bethany has an absolute assurance that God hears and answers prayers, because she had to be positive of that fact before she could tell dozens of youth about it.

He really, really does hear us. And He answers. I know it.

This Bethany is sure of her identity as a Daughter of God.

He is my Father. I am His daughter. Nothing will change that, ever.

This Bethany has learned to rely on the promptings and inspiration of the Spirit to sustain her from moment to moment.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

This Bethany has learned the meaning of patience, humility, and servant leadership.

This Bethany has 82 pieces of her heart spread out across the country in the form of amazing, strong, beautiful young women facing real heartache.

This Bethany will forever look at others differently. This Bethany is not afraid to open her mouth and share the Gospel with friends, family, strangers, everyone.

This Bethany has fallen in love all over again with the word of God. This Bethany knows the meaning of 'study' and not just 'read' the scriptures.

This Bethany is different.

And she is grateful.

I also got accepted to nursing school this summer. Twice. Looking back at this post, or just searching 'nursing school' in the search box up yonder, you will maybe catch a glimpse of how much this means to me. Four years, people. Four years of crying and worrying and stressing about making my dream come true. I have three major dreams to accomplish in my life, and that is one of them. A third. People at EFY keep asking me "Where do you go to school? What are you studying?" And I am filled with the biggest sunshine ray of gratitude and happiness when I reply "I actually just got accepted to nursing school at BYU...." WHAT?! That's a real thing??? Those words are coming out of MY mouth??

This is how it happened:

At BYU, they have a rule that you can only apply to nursing school two times. MAYBE they will let you appeal for a third try, but rarely. So I applied twice in the last 3 and a half years at BYU, and I was rejected both times. So I made a few plans, prayed, cried, researched, adjusted, and moved forward. This past April, life changed around and I decided to apply to UVU's nursing school. For two weeks I ran around in a flurry taking entrance exams and getting credits transferred so I could meet the deadline.

I also appealed and was allowed to apply to BYU for a third try. Why? Because I hate being told what I cannot do. And I'm not a quitter.

On June 16th, I was working the EFY Salt Lake City Special Edition session. My mom texted me that the letter from UVU had come. I had planned to make her wait so that I could open it myself, but I changed my mind and told her to open it. She texted me a photo of a letter that started like this:

"Dear Bethany, CONGRATULATIONS!!"

I was walking at the back of a line of youth when I opened the message. I tilted my head back and faced the sky while I laughed and prayed and cried tears of gratitude. Finally. 

Two weeks later I was working an EFY session in Tacoma, Washington. I received an email from BYU that said "We're sorry, your application to the College of Nursing has been denied...." I smiled. I had read this message twice before, and I could face it with peace because I had tried my hardest and was still going to become a nurse. Just not at BYU.

On July 16th, I was working EFY in Provo. We were sitting in morning side, learning about choices and personal revelation and how sometimes the Lord gives us two good choices and He trusts us to make the decision ourselves. My thoughts: "This is so great for the youth to learn. I'm so glad I've learned this lesson already in my life. Agency is so great." 

At this moment, I looked down and saw a missed call from BYU on my phone. I excused myself from morning side and listened to this voicemail:

"Bethany, this is Cara from the BYU College of Nursing. We have had a spot open up and want to extend to you admission to our program for Fall 2013." 

Wide eyed, shocked, and shaking, I realized the entire morning side was for me. Heavenly Father is smart like that.

I took 24 hours and prayed about it. I weighed the pros and cons. I remembered telling people that if I was admitted to both programs, I would choose UVU. I laughed at the irony of it all.

I chose BYU. I feel so happy about that decision. This was my dream, and it was given to me after a long trial of my faith. While I have wrapped up my EFY summer here in Provo this week, I keep having little shivers of joy at the prospect of coming back here to study what I have always wanted.

The words blessed and grateful do not even begin to cover it.

Belle at My Birthday

Hello my name is Bethany.

I am Princess Belle at heart.

I would love to come to your birthday party. 

{ $20 for a half an hour visit within Salt Lake County. Program varies depending on age group. 

Email me with questions bethany . coleman 21 @ gmail . com}

20 Seconds

I did this today.

We'll see what will come of it. :)