Becoming Sister Lambson, Part 5

The week Benji spent in Mexico was my last week of EFY as a counselor.

On Monday of that week, I got a private Facebook message from him wishing me a great week and that my girls were lucky to have me. He didn't acknowledge my big confession, but it still gave me hope. Maybe he could be the smallest bit interested.

At this point, people were talking about the Especially for Counselor's Disneyland trip scheduled for August. Who was going, who wasn't, and how everyone was getting there. I was VERY back and forth about going. I wanted to go because Benji was going. I didn't want to go because Benji was going. I was conflicted.

My roommate that week finally looked at me one day and said "Bethany, you HAVE to go." But I was still conflicted.

This was a photo taken on Friday of week 9. It was my last day of EFY, my last EFY dance, I was exhausted and happy and anxious for Benji to get back in the States and see what he had to say. However, he was coming home to work the last week of EFY, Provo 10, and I was going back to real life and my job at the hospital.

Saturday night, I was at Primary Children's working. I started to think about Benji coming back and working another week. I had emailed the EFY office a few days earlier and told them I was available if they needed anyone for week 10, but they replied and said they had had a ton of interest and no open positions. So I did what I always do, and I started praying. I asked that if it was possible, I would be able to work week 10 to spend more time with Benji. 

Around 10 p.m., my phone rang and I was asked to work Provo 10. 

This is the photo I took that Monday morning: sleep deprived, still anxious, still happy, and very hopeful.

The week passed in a blur. It was my 8th week that summer and my 7th week in a row. I felt like I wasn't doing a good job as a counselor and I was worried about my girls. Everytime I saw Benji my heart would freak out and I never knew if I should talk to him or let him talk to me or act like nothing had happened.....

By the time the week was over, I had officially decided to go to Disneyland at the encouragement of my mom and two dear EFY friends, Elyse and Brianna. I agreed to go as long as the two of them made sure I had a ride. Brianna emphatically said she would arrange everything and she was just so happy I was coming!!

A few days before the trip, Brianna called to inform me of the plans:

"Okay so we are in Benji's car, we are leaving at this time lah lah lah...."

Benji's car.
All the way to California and back.
Disneyland. 4 days.
The biggest roller coaster of that whole trip happened right there, inside myself, trying to imagine how horrible or wonderful the experience was going to be.