sometimes...

i wonder if i should serve a mission.

i wish life had a script that i was privy to.

i don't understand some of the pain people have in their lives.

i wish duck dynasty episodes would never end.

i worry that i'm going to need foot surgery.

i wish i were still little.

i just want to cuddle in my blankets all day.

i like being an adult.

i look at my life and think, "this is mine?"

A Non-Wedding Post

I went to a wedding this weekend.

Aesthetically, it was stunning. Perfect, even. The hair, the dress, the flowers, the colors, the decorations, all absolutely gorgeous.

I was lucky enough to also be able to go to the Temple Sealing. Its been two days, and I'm still thinking about it. It was stunning, perfect, beautiful, whole, and peaceful. It was joy. It was everything you could ever hope or wish for in your wedding, and it was the part of the day without colors, themes, table settings, flowers, or pictures.

The first wedding I can remember attending was my cousin Christiana. I was five years old. The reception was held in her parents backyard in the summertime. It was so beautiful, with sunshine and rosebushes climbing up the trellises.

Several years later, when I had grown up quite a bit, I was with Christiana at a family reunion. I mentioned to her that I always remembered her wedding and how beautiful it was. She cocked her head and said something to me that I was thinking of this weekend while I watched my dear friend be sealed:

"You know, the most beautiful part was in the Temple."

This post isn't really about weddings. It's about beauty and goodness and the best things in this life. It's about the grace that we are given from Heavenly Father every day. It's about focusing.

I hope that I can live my life better, after this reminder, than I was living before. I hope that I'm not living for the colors and the flowers and the things in life that are not eternal, but instead for the joy and the peace and the love, the things that are found in caring more about others than about ourselves.

Poker Face.

Scene: Chloe and I are sitting on opposite couches, both staring at our respective laptop screens.

Abby is begging Chloe to play Bluff.
Then she asked Chloe what other people commonly call Bluff.
Chloe didn't know how to not tell her "b.s."...so Chloe said nothing.
Abby asked again.
Chloe told her "I don't want to tell you. And you can't play Bluff with only two people."
on the contrary. I bluff between two people all the time. but I'll keep that to myself. 
Abby went to recruit Nate and Emily, because then they would have 4 people.
Chloe decided she didn't want to play at all.
Nathan started crying.
Abby asked him why he was crying.
Nate, in his adorable almost 6 year old sob, replied "I just wanted to play poker!"
Emily: "................we don't do that..........."
Nate: "...oh. I meant Go Fish."

I'm probably the only person that thinks that whole exchange was funny.

Also, something sweet happened.
Thursday.
I woke up. And my body said: "HA!!!!!"
interpreted: sinuses all full, eyes all puffy, muscles all worn out, classes in an hour.
text message to Bryan: "hey, will you bring me some ibuprofen?" (I was already on campus at this point.)
text message to Bethany: "are you sick?! do I get to take care of you?! yes I will!"
----class period later-----
boy walks up to girl.
boy hugs girl.
boy asks girl how she is feeling.
boy pulls out a handful of ricola lozenges, a bottle of ibuprofen, dayquil, and a canteen bottle of orange juice.
girl is blessed.


In other news: my bangs are now all grown out. Promise kept. Now what?

happy little things

to be read in Dumbledore's voice: Another (crazy) week, gone.

It included:

-A beautiful rendition of my favoritest song, Savior, Redeemer of My Soul, at the BYU devotional on Tuesday. It helped me regain focus.

-Getting an A on a midterm (hallelujah)

-Celebrating with Bryan. What were we celebrating? Oh, just the fact that both of us waited for letters from Hogwarts when we were eleven.
        Neither of us got one.
        We're still happy.
        We celebrated with a 1/2 gallon of Strawberry Sundae Crunch and two spoons.

-studying. and studying. and studying.

-a glorious run with my dearest Genevieve. Body is not happy with me.

-a bridal shower for my lovely Amanda. Maybe I won both games. Its because I love her the most, of course.

-and then, I woke up today with one white eye and one red eye. BECAUSE I have a terrible awful habit of sleeping in my contacts...every night....for months on end....and someone (to be read as: Bryan) told me that was a bad eyedea because then eye might get an infection.....so then someone didn't say "Eye told you so" and instead drove my glasses up to me in Sandy so that eye could see safely. Someone takes very good, sweet, and tender care of me every day.

-Duck Dynasty season 3 is coming, friends. Be still my heart.

       

Current

Currently listening to: She's My Kind of Rain
       That song seriously melts my heart every time.

Currently trying to accomplish: getting Nathan ready for Kindergarten. No easy feat, my friends. No easy feat!

Currently wishing: I had not stayed up so late, had made it to the Temple session I wanted to go to this morning, I understood and memorized everything about pathophysiology, gas didn't empty out of my car so fast, and receiving personal revelation wasn't so much work. BUT. Anything worth anything takes work, right? Which is what makes it worth it and valuable and cherished?

Currently missing: Lauren Kasteler (who is turning 21 tomorrow, my sweet darling red headed best friend)