Equality

This link has been circulating around Facebook the last few days, and I finally looked through it.
My thoughts while reading and viewing:

"This is disgusting. This is not fair. This is hopeless."

I don't know why some people are born into such privilege, where they have the luxury of being perfectionists, or professionals, or even angry. Looking at these pictures, I realized that anger is a luxury. I don't understand all the reasons why.

But these things I know: there is a God. He created us all. We are His children, and He loves us all equally, even if our circumstances and privileges cause us to ask why and how. I know that I cannot comprehend all the things that God comprehends.

I know that Jesus Christ lives. He felt the pain of all of us, He knows the pain of hunger, cold, loneliness, confusion, unfairness, perfectionism, anger. He knows us all. Somehow, through His grace, we will all live in perfect equality someday. The pain will be compensated for. There will be no sorrow, only hope and joy.

For now, all I can do is offer all the love in my heart to everyone. To try and be more patient, more understanding, more giving. To express gratitude for all the privilege and luxury that I enjoy. To complain less. To share His light. To be humbler, softer, gentler. To trust in God and look forward with hope for the day when children no longer live in poverty.

I hope that I wear out my life and my hands and my heart in lifting up the hands that hang down and strengthening the feeble knees.

Let's Talk About...

....Benjamin.

Because my heart feels all swollen with gratitude towards that guy right now.

I found this in my pantry this morning:

Because we went grocery shopping last night. And he KNOWS I would never buy them for myself. So he bought them. And then left them in my pantry. Ah. 

And THEN. Once upon a time two days ago in the Wilkinson Student Center, we each spun the wheel for some awareness something and I won a full size candy bar and he won a fun size candy bar. What did I do? Gobble my whole thing up so fast, and he took one bite of his little fun size and then offered me the rest. Because he is selfless and giving like that. 

I could go on. But I won't, because likely he will be embarrassed with the attention and because I don't think Blogspot has that much space. 

But I am happy. And blessed. And so grateful that I did this on that one day, and now I get to spend everyday learning how to be more positive and more selfless from Benji. 

Best Screen Shots

Cornbread, Temples, Macaroni & Cheese

My birthday!

It was wonderful. I woke up. Took a really hard microbiology test.

Later, Benji, Chloe and I drove home for the most amazing cornbread in the world and chili.

And French Silk Pie.

And gifts.

In which Chloe gave me the most darling nurse doll, and my mama found me a cozy sweater, and my parents made me the cutest video about my life, and Benjamin completely surprised me with an assortment of goodies including but not limited to Michael Bublé tickets! YES. That will be excellent. November 19th, can't wait to see you.

And then the next day, my adorable parents took me to dinner and then to do an endowment session in the Salt Lake Temple because I had never done a session there and it was BEAUTIFUL. I love the legacy of the Salt Lake Temple and the sacrifice that it took. I love the Temple. 

Birthdays are great. And yes, I did have Taylor Swift on repeat the entire day. I was feelin' 22. 

And then, Wednesday morning, I woke up and was promptly hit by a train. A train full of body aches and headaches and congestion and fever and nausea and profuse sweating. Sick enough that my parents galloped down to Provo and brought me home so they could monitor me. And so I could have a big bathtub. So I've been pretty down and out for the last three days, only consuming apple juice until yesterday when I developed an absurd craving for macaroni and cheese. What??? I'm sitting here eating another bowl of the stuff as we speak. Only explanation: I'm so calorie deprived that my cells were screeching for the cheesy buttery soft noodle goodness. And I don't even want to put ketchup on it, which is not normal for me. I just want unlimited apple juice and macaroni and cheese. 

Also, yesterday was the first 24 hour period since August when I did not get to see Benjamin. I hated it.  Congratulations to everyone who DID get to see him yesterday. 

I've got to go get more mac and cheese. 

(From when we floated the Provo River back in August)

Service List

Thank you so much to everyone who performed service this past week in response to my birthday wish for service. It added such a wonderful feeling to the whole week.

• giving my hubs back rubs every day whether my arthritis hurts or not.
• My visiting teacher had a cyst that she was waiting to burst. So she was in a lot of pain and had to go shopping with her three little children to costco. So I offered to go with her to help with the kids so she wouldn't have to pick them up, etc. So I got to hang out with some pretty cute kids.
• I was planning a playdate with a friend and then she said she couldn't come because she didn't have a car, so I offered to give her and her daughter a ride to the place and we all had a great time.
• I made my roommates bed when she was gone
• So all last week I was looking everyday for just simple ways to serve somebody. The first thing that I was able to find was a neighbor who posted on our Ward facebook page. He needed help with his bike and I've been learning a lot about how to fix my own (the hard way normally) so I jumped on the opportunity. I also really don't know the guy that I helped either but it turned out to be a good way to get to know him. I was at his house for about an hour and all that I ended up figuring out was that he would have to take it to a shop. I knew what was wrong and how to fix it but we didn't have the tools or parts to fix his bike. We had a good time getting to know each other while freezing and getting nowhere with his bike. But from the moment that I commented on fb telling him that I'd help him, the opportunities to serve just came flooding in
• I scraped the ice off of the car next to mine
• Today we hosted a family for dinner since they were returning from a couple months absence to an empty house. What a treat to come home to a full meal and roll into your own bed... without cleaning up or shopping!
  I thought of doing it for her cause... i knew, instantly when she said she was on her way home, that she'd do the exact same for me. so that's how that was thought of.
• I'm going to my grandpa's house after work (he just had back surgery) and I'm going to pick the flowers out of his flower bed, cut the bulbs off, lay the bulbs to dry and then pack the bulbs away so that in the spring...we can plant them and he will have nice fresh flowers again. I'm really looking forward to the time spent with my grandpa.
• Keeping others in mind and focusing on lifting the burdens of others was just what I needed last week.
• I took supper to my sister after her pacemaker was replaced.
• I cleaned a lady in the ward's house
• I did the dishes that weren't mine

Thank you! And thank you to the ones that were done unconsciously--to Deanna for cooking us dinner and for Benji and Levi for bringing it. To Sierra for sharing her migraine pills with me. To Rachel for working my shift so I didn't have to on my birthday. I love service and I love all of you for doing this for me!

Tender Mercies

I've experienced many tender mercies this weekend.

As I posted on instagram/facebook, I am home this weekend supervising my adorable siblings so that my parents could go on a business trip/getaway together.

The plan was SUPPOSED to work: Bethany works night shift Friday, comes home Saturday morning, goes back to Provo Sunday to work a night shift Sunday night, wakes up and takes microbiology exam Monday morning.

But when I got here, I discovered boogers and vomit and fevers and coughs, which I tried to attend to while studying for said microbiology test. Also, I failed to mention the lingering migraine from Friday that was threatening to come back full force.

Tender Mercy #1: Benji and Ronnie. Giving Abigail a priesthood blessing that allowed her to sleep well, despite her achey body and congested head.

Tender Mercy #2: realizing too late Saturday night that we did not have enough toilet paper to last through the weekend with all these stuffy noses. So I prayed of course. And voila, two mega rolls of toilet paper were discovered tucked away in the back of the house.

Tender Mercy #3: Benji and his darling brother Levi showing up with delicious food prepared by their mom (whom I adore), and it happened to be exactly what was appetizing to all these sick people and they ate it and there was peace on earth.

Tender Mercy #4: Benji and Levi being silly and fun and playing with Nate and making Abby smile and everything felt like sunshine golden happiness.

Tender Mercy #5: I tried to call in sick at work for my night shift tonight, based off of the migraine and the sleepless night with vomiting, feverish children and the general sense of ill feeling, but work said they were short CNAs and needed me to come in anyway. Which was discouraging, disappointing, and ever other dis- word you can think of. So as I was dressed in my scrubs, heading out the door to Provo, hoping my parents get home ASAP, work called and said "we found someone to replace you. You can stay home." miracle, people. Miracle.

So my testimony is that Heavenly Father is aware of us. He is aware of toilet paper shortages and microbiology exams and college students who are feeling overwhelmed and run down. And He sends angels, seen and unseen, to lift and bless and encourage in whatever degree of distress you may be in. He does not leave us comfortless, He runs to us.

I Like My Birthdays Every One!

So my birthday is a week from today.

I will be feelin' 22.

An absurd age, if you ask me. I don't feel 22. I told my mom last week that I think I feel 12. Or maybe 92. Sometimes I feel very old indeed.

Anywho. I have an idea for this 22nd birthday. Something I want you all to do for me.

I would like to compile a list of service. That's right, I want everyone to do some small act of service between now and October 21st, and I wanna know about it. I want to post a great big long list of service. It makes my heart feel happy just thinking about it.

It can be service in any variety, including (and encouraged) sharing the Gospel with someone, even in a very small way.

Or perhaps you picked something up off the floor without grumbling, or did a chore that wasn't yours, or scraped the ice off of someone's car, or held the door open, or smiled at the cashier at Walmart (because they are nearly always grumpy), or stuck a nice note on the wall outside of the testing center, or got out of the shower 5 minutes early so your roommate could have hot water, or made her/his bed, or saved a plate of dinner for someone who was stressed, or whatever. It doesn't have to be big. I just want you to think outward for this week, for me.

And then tell me about it. Post a comment here, or email me (bethany . coleman 21@ gmail . com) or Facebook message me, or post it on my Facebook wall on my birthday as is customary in these parts, or send a telegram, or whatever.

Maybe we will all have the most love-filled week ever.

12

I remember the details of this day 12 years ago.

I remember being excited for my third baby sister, I remember being worried about her little heart (and she still has the sweetest heart) and believing that my ten year old prayers would be enough to heal her heart from the inside out.

I remember she was born, and unlike the two baby sisters before her, she didn't come home with my parents.

I remember when she did come home I felt so protective of her, so much more like a mother and less like a sister.

I still feel that way about her, our angel blonde haired Abby. She has a special tenderness and sweetness that is unique and rare. I got to spend all day today with her, just the two of us. Our first stop was the Temple, because she is 12 now and worthy to participate in ordinances there.

We then took a trip to The Bead Fairy to get our craft on

And then, per family tradition on your 12th birthday, she gathered up all her bravery and got her ears pierced.

Afterwards, we went home to celebrate with the family.

We love our Abby

My Life is a Gift

Let's talk about what its like to be a hospital employee/nursing student.

You wake up six hours after you go to bed so you can make it to class. You return home two hours later, mess around on your computer for a while, spend some time in the Gospel of Mark (because I love the New Testament) and then proceed to go back to sleep so that you will be awake and alert during your upcoming night shift.

Hours later, you wake up to prepare a midnight snack to take with you on said night shift. You open a brand new can of spaghetti sauce, and then spend 10 minutes looking at google images of botulism-ridden cans trying to decide if the can is infected or not because of a dent in the top. Thought process goes something like this:

Well, its probably just a dent from being dropped or something. I'm probably even the one who dropped it. But maybe it really is infected. Dumping it out would be such a waste. I should just eat it. Botulism is a disease of the nervous system...how much can I afford to be paralyzed for a few weeks? Do you think they would freeze my grades where they are at right now if that happened? Is spaghetti sauce worth paralyzation? Probably not...I could just dump it out. Ugh that would be such a waste! Benji never wastes anything. I guess its not worth the risk, even if I am the one who dropped it in the first place....but remember that patient I had with botulism? That was scary....Bethany you would never have these issues if you didn't study them. 

Anyway. After getting over that hurdle (which included dumping out the completely new can of spaghetti sauce) and finishing your midnight snack preparations, you look down at your phone.

It is the hospital.

Putting you on call.

Which means, I'm not at work, so I could have gone to nanny my absolutely darling little baby, but I'm on call, so if I drove all the way up to Sandy to be with her, karma would bite me and they would call me back to Provo.

Also, if I chanced going to do an Endowment Session in the temple, they would call. So my focus the entire two hours would be off and stressed, so its not worth it.

But if I sit here, and blog about it, they won't call.

So. I'm grateful for nursing school and hospital jobs that save me from potential paralyzation.

And also, General Conference is tomorrow. It's like Christmas. I LOVE General Conference.
Everyone should watch it.

www.lds.org

Alma 36:20-21

My sweet family has been through a lot of pain.
Some that everyone knows and sees, and some that is privately fought and learned from.
Personally, I have weathered the storms with my family, and also hurt for my own disappointments, rejections, and heartbreaks. The last few years have been filled with many unknowns and more lessons in patience, trust, and waiting than I would be able to remember if I tried.

But you see, our Heavenly Father is full of grace, and He is blessing me with an intense season of joy right now. The title of this post is the most accurate way I can find to explain how happy I am. I am so humbled by this time in my life and so very grateful for the trials that have given me perspective on all these blessings.

For you who are still wading through a season of sorrow, hold on. In the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (whom I love), “Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in Good Things to Come.”

(If you just watch the first minute of this video you will see why I am so grateful for my school)

Alma 36

OH, this has gotta be the good life

Yesterday was an emotional day.

I said goodbye for 18 months to this girl:

We've been together through some of our deepest pain and moments of loneliness. I was lonely as a sophomore in high school and prayed for a friend. She is who I was sent. She is so brave, so strong, so faithful. She is loyal to her friends and to the Lord. She will serve Him brilliantly in Florida, and that is the only way my heart can handle the pang of her being gone from me. 

Also, I resigned from my job.

Yes, the most perfect amazing job that I love with all of my heart on the Infant Unit at Primary Children's.

The one where the nurses feel like my sisters or my aunts or some other form of family. 

The one where I've made big mistakes and been given second chances.

The one where I have fallen in love with my patients every single day.

Yeah, that one. 

I'm moving to Provo. And I will be there of a surety for the next 3 years as I follow one of my biggest dreams to become a nurse. God is so, so good and has blessed me with a new job, one that is much more conducive to a nursing student, at the hospital in Provo. I am grateful. 

(Also, this is going to make the idea of commuting from Provo to Salt Lake at 4:30 in the morning for work inconceivable.) 

Life is changing. MY life is changing, specifically. Things are falling into place like a magnetized puzzle. It is wonderful to watch the mysteries of God unfold into blessings and circumstances, even if that includes some goodbyes and heartaches. I'm thankful to have the capacity to love so much, because without that ability, it would not hurt to say goodbye. 

We Remember Moments

Once upon a time, I went to Disneyland. 
I was super hesitant to go, but decided last minute (at the urging of my Mother, love her) to just do it.

There are literally no words!! It was the most fun I think I have ever had, ever. 

Things I don't want to forget:

• 5 of us being totally squished in an Accord, but just being okay with it and lounging all over each other. 
• Playing EFY Family Home Evening games in the hotel pool because it was a Monday night, naturally!
• Going against my other personal law and watching Nacho Libre in its entirety. And by 'watching' I mean viewing it through the tiny slit in my eyelids because I was so exhausted. 
• Singing the Firm in the Faith theme song in line for Indiana Jones
• I, Bethany Coleman, overcoming the lifelong and irrational fear of roller coasters and just going for it. If you want to give me a blood test to make sure I am still myself, go ahead. 
• Riding Splash Mountain over, and over, and over, and over, and getting SOAKING wet from splashing each other. Also getting yelled at to "keep your hands inside the ride!"
• Getting stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel and watching Benji's facial expression when I weaseled my fingers between the doors. 
• Being given ultimate fast passes to any ride, any time, because of being stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel. 
• The time and attention Ryan put into a fabulous date which included meeting Belle and being given more ultimate fast passes. (Thank you again!!)
• The time when we rode Space Mountain and I turned to Benji and said "Oh no, that was our last ride!" His reply, "It doesn't have to be." and then, THEY SENT US THROUGH THE RIDE AGAIN. There was a huge line. #hugelinedon'tcare #twicebacktoback #lifemade 
• World of Color. Self explanatory. I squealed like a three year old girl meeting Princess Belle. 
• Park Hopping. Also known as bad Fast Pass planning. 
• Late night Del Taco runs, taco-ception, nacho cheese, and everything else that happened with that 
• Being brave enough to ride Tower of Terror. Twice. And actually enjoying it the second time.
• That one time in the arcade with three tokens and Preston and Benjamin. 
• The Peanut Butter Jelly dance flash mob at the Mad Hatter's T Party
• Ordering Pizza on wednesday night, because it was Wednesday night, naturally!
• Going to the beach and playing Signs in the ocean
• Casey being worried about my dehydration and force feeding me 5 bottles of water
• Doing a session with Brianna, Elyse, Benji and Preston at the Newport Beach Temple. (SO stunning)
• Skipping down to Mexico and the sensation of just walking right out of my country into another.
• Experiencing a little piece of Mexico from a non-Tourist perspective.
• My desire to learn Spanish quadrupling 
• Eating authentic delicious SO spicy tacos
• Deciding to ditch the original schedule and going to the San Diego Temple, which turned into a 3 hour adventure with some lovely and patient Sealers and performing sacred Sealings with the four friends who have become so dear to me
• The feeling of walking into the Celestial Room and having my breath totally taken away. "I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me" has new meaning after seeing that Temple. 
• Brianna, Elyse and I taking a hiatus into the Bride's Room where we sat and prayed and cried and talked and loved each other 
• Driving to Las Vegas and not arriving until 3 a.m., but having fabulous faith-increasing conversation with my darling Elyse
• Waking up and eating breakfast with the most beautiful little baby boy with a darling laugh
• giving Benji foot surgery in the car

Thank you to Casey for sharing your knowledge and expertise with us, and also for the sweet parting gift and note.
Thank you to Brianna for your high energy, unconditional love, and for making us all giggle all the time.
Thank you to Elyse for helping me feel brave, sharing your thoughts with me in the Temple and at the beach, and helping me stay awake while I was driving.
Thank you to Preston for making us all laugh super hard, for coming and being with us even though you didn't know any of us initially, and for helping me Saturday afternoon with youknowwhat
Thank you to Benji for bringing the car, being flexible with the plans, helping everyone to feel like they got to see and visit everything that was important to them, and for letting me squeeze the life out of you when I was terrified.
Thank you to Ashley for sharing the hotel room with me, for being with us, for riding Splash Mountainn again when you did not want to, for giving me advice, and for sharing your Scooby Snacks :)
Thank you Jake also for going our group, sticking your head in the trash can even though I missed that part, and telling me I was brave and could do anything.
Thank you to Melodee also for coming even though you didn't know anyone at the start!! Thank you so much for becoming my friend and for making the beach super fun and for sticking with me when I felt tired. So happy to have met you. 
Thank you for spending Tuesday with us, Aminta! We felt short one very important person for the rest of the week, but we were glad to have you for at least part of the time. Thanks for giving us massages in line and for your bright, beautiful smile.

Thank you, everyone! It was incredible and amazing and the best trip to end the Summer ever! 

Take My Yoke Upon You

One of my all time favorite classes at BYU was given by Professor Matthew Grey on the Four Gospels of the New Testament. I remember when I met him he said, "Bethany...that's an appropriate name for someone in a New Testament class."

I learned so much about the culture and customs of the Savior's world, and why His actions and statements were so shocking to those around Him.

I remember praying one Sunday about Matthew 11:29-30 which says "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

That scripture did NOT make me feel like I could do hard things, it made me feel overwhelmed. Knowing that Jesus Christ can do and has done all things, including the saving Atonement, "which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit-" (reference here) the idea of taking His yoke and His burden upon me sounded horrible. It did not sound easy. It made my burdens seem heavier, not lighter.

So I was praying one Sunday, asking about how that scripture was supposed to bring me comfort, when my burdens felt so heavy already, and I didn't want to take on the even heavier load of the Savior's yoke.

I walked into class on Monday and what do you know, my prayer was all set to be answered.

The customs of the Jews during the Savior's day included many "extra" rules that were not revealed as necessary from God. They included the rules about how many steps could be taken on the Sabbath, no work or healing should be performed on the Sabbath, etc. (Considering the fact that the Savior broke all of these rules regularly, it helps give clarity to why they wanted to kill Him so badly.) The Greek word used in translation for this set of extra rules was called the Yoke. So essentially, what the Savior is saying in Matthew 11 is "take my commandments upon you, and not all the extras, for mine are easy."

My awesome professor then said, "How often do we do this in modern day? How often do we burden ourselves and others with 'extra' rules and judgements that really aren't necessary?"
How often do we convince ourselves that Sabbath Day worship just won't be the same if our clothing is not the best of the best? Or we didn't create a handout for our lesson?
Or those neighbors, they let their kids do that??
You mean you don't have an hour of family scripture study a day?

No. The Savior is not like that. He has given us the commandments and rules that we should follow in order to bring joy and peace to our lives. And have you noticed, no where in the scriptures does it say "Do your very best"? Instead, we are asked to strive and to be faithful. That means progression and constant effort and never giving up.

So don't make your life harder with a yoke that we were not given. Do not compare. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Only worry about the things God has asked us to do, and not with all the extra pressures the world places on our backs. Their yoke is heavy, but His is light.

photo cred

Summer Came

I went swimming today, for the first time in 2013.

I've been a little busy, you see, and hadn't yet donned the swimsuit. I felt so happy, smelling like sunscreen and chlorine and getting toasty brown like a marshmallow roasted to perfection.

(Speaking of roasted marshmallows....lets do that....anyone? anyone? bonfire? please?)

Also, life is giving me whiplash:

I have three friends who are very dear to my heart.

One of them is on a mission.

One of them has a mission farewell on Sunday.

And I am currently making a baby gift for the other.

Also, I have a new goal that was born at EFY this summer. The goal is to switch my scripture study from evening before bed to first thing in the morning, because mornings are when we study the scriptures at EFY and I really, really loved how that felt.

So I am changing the habit.

And my testimony of the day is this: God hears you. He loves you. I know this because I've offered a few personal, specific prayers in the last few days and He has answered them. Only He knew what was weighing on my heart, and He found ways to send me quiet reminders of His love. He. Loves. Us.

I hope your days are full of sunshine.

Miracle Summer

The Bethany that left for EFY in June is not the same Bethany that is writing this post.

This Bethany has an absolute assurance that God hears and answers prayers, because she had to be positive of that fact before she could tell dozens of youth about it.

He really, really does hear us. And He answers. I know it.

This Bethany is sure of her identity as a Daughter of God.

He is my Father. I am His daughter. Nothing will change that, ever.

This Bethany has learned to rely on the promptings and inspiration of the Spirit to sustain her from moment to moment.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

This Bethany has learned the meaning of patience, humility, and servant leadership.

This Bethany has 82 pieces of her heart spread out across the country in the form of amazing, strong, beautiful young women facing real heartache.

This Bethany will forever look at others differently. This Bethany is not afraid to open her mouth and share the Gospel with friends, family, strangers, everyone.

This Bethany has fallen in love all over again with the word of God. This Bethany knows the meaning of 'study' and not just 'read' the scriptures.

This Bethany is different.

And she is grateful.

I also got accepted to nursing school this summer. Twice. Looking back at this post, or just searching 'nursing school' in the search box up yonder, you will maybe catch a glimpse of how much this means to me. Four years, people. Four years of crying and worrying and stressing about making my dream come true. I have three major dreams to accomplish in my life, and that is one of them. A third. People at EFY keep asking me "Where do you go to school? What are you studying?" And I am filled with the biggest sunshine ray of gratitude and happiness when I reply "I actually just got accepted to nursing school at BYU...." WHAT?! That's a real thing??? Those words are coming out of MY mouth??

This is how it happened:

At BYU, they have a rule that you can only apply to nursing school two times. MAYBE they will let you appeal for a third try, but rarely. So I applied twice in the last 3 and a half years at BYU, and I was rejected both times. So I made a few plans, prayed, cried, researched, adjusted, and moved forward. This past April, life changed around and I decided to apply to UVU's nursing school. For two weeks I ran around in a flurry taking entrance exams and getting credits transferred so I could meet the deadline.

I also appealed and was allowed to apply to BYU for a third try. Why? Because I hate being told what I cannot do. And I'm not a quitter.

On June 16th, I was working the EFY Salt Lake City Special Edition session. My mom texted me that the letter from UVU had come. I had planned to make her wait so that I could open it myself, but I changed my mind and told her to open it. She texted me a photo of a letter that started like this:

"Dear Bethany, CONGRATULATIONS!!"

I was walking at the back of a line of youth when I opened the message. I tilted my head back and faced the sky while I laughed and prayed and cried tears of gratitude. Finally. 

Two weeks later I was working an EFY session in Tacoma, Washington. I received an email from BYU that said "We're sorry, your application to the College of Nursing has been denied...." I smiled. I had read this message twice before, and I could face it with peace because I had tried my hardest and was still going to become a nurse. Just not at BYU.

On July 16th, I was working EFY in Provo. We were sitting in morning side, learning about choices and personal revelation and how sometimes the Lord gives us two good choices and He trusts us to make the decision ourselves. My thoughts: "This is so great for the youth to learn. I'm so glad I've learned this lesson already in my life. Agency is so great." 

At this moment, I looked down and saw a missed call from BYU on my phone. I excused myself from morning side and listened to this voicemail:

"Bethany, this is Cara from the BYU College of Nursing. We have had a spot open up and want to extend to you admission to our program for Fall 2013." 

Wide eyed, shocked, and shaking, I realized the entire morning side was for me. Heavenly Father is smart like that.

I took 24 hours and prayed about it. I weighed the pros and cons. I remembered telling people that if I was admitted to both programs, I would choose UVU. I laughed at the irony of it all.

I chose BYU. I feel so happy about that decision. This was my dream, and it was given to me after a long trial of my faith. While I have wrapped up my EFY summer here in Provo this week, I keep having little shivers of joy at the prospect of coming back here to study what I have always wanted.

The words blessed and grateful do not even begin to cover it.

Belle at My Birthday

Hello my name is Bethany.

I am Princess Belle at heart.

I would love to come to your birthday party. 

{ $20 for a half an hour visit within Salt Lake County. Program varies depending on age group. 

Email me with questions bethany . coleman 21 @ gmail . com}

20 Seconds

I did this today.

We'll see what will come of it. :)

Even When You're Broken

There is a new album of music made for every year of EFY. One of the awesome parts of being a counselor is the opportunity to sing the songs to the youth during morningsides and firesides. It is another way to testify to the youth what I know in my heart to be true.

This week I get to sing this beautiful song about the Atonement. I know that Jesus Christ lives and that what He suffered in Gethsemane and on the cross at Golgotha is not a thing of the past. The Atonement is real and it works in my life every day. The Savior knows you, loves you, and He wants to be at one with you, hence the word at one ment. He knows everything about you, and He loves you perfectly.






another witness: None Were With Him

Hello Seattle I am a Pioneer

So. The last few months I have been doing an intensive study of my identity. I learned this phrase at an efy training and it changed how I study the gospel: "Questions invite Revelation" and since then I've been asking questions and writing them down before I begin my scripture study. One of the questions I asked was "how can I increase my self esteem and self worth?" IT HAS BEEN AMAZING. GOD SERIOUSLY ANSWERS EVERY QUESTION. Anyway. Through prayer and the Temple and scripture study I have truly come to understand who I am. I am Bethany. I am a daughter of God. It's an incredible truth. 

    Anyway. As I have come to know who I am and who my Father is, I have come to care and love everyone. Seriously. I know who they are because I know who I am. And for the first time, I have that burning desire for everyone to know who they are. For the first time I can't stand that everyone doesn't know that Jesus died for them. 

    On a slightly different note, all last year and all this year at efy we are challenged to pray and ask for who we are supposed to share the Gospel with. I have felt so frustrated for two summers because whenever I pray I never feel like I received a name. I have felt very frustrated about my part in the missionary work, because I pray every night for missionary experiences. 

     I learned from a fellow counselor at efy that one way she has missionary experiences is to talk to and sit by strangers. So that night after I talked to her, I went back to my dorm here in Washington and prayed and told Heavenly Father that I am so serious about this. I want to share the gospel. I want to not be afraid to share it. So I wrote my testimony inside a copy of the Book of Mormon to show Heavenly Father how serious I am and I put it in my backpack to keep with me always and I told Him to please let me know when it was the right person. 

     Last weekend, after all the kids left, all of us counselors took a day trip to Seattle. (Side note, I am OBSESSED with Seattle. So so so beautiful.) A few of us decided to be adventurous and hop on some random buses to get back to Puget Sound, and when I got on the bus I remembered my promise to sit by strangers. So I walked to the back of the bus and saw this guy and I knew he was the one Heavenly Father wanted me to talk to. So I sat down next to him, and looked at him and in my head I said "this is a Child of God" (to remind myself of his identity and to not be afraid) and I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. He had to pull his earbuds out to hear me and then introduced himself as Rome. I said "oh cool I am named after a city too!" And then we started talking. For an hour we talked on a bus about everything. We talked about school (he studied religion in college) and so I asked him what he knew about Mormons and we talked about my beliefs and we talked about hiking and I told him that we believe God created a beautiful world for us because we are all His children. I told him that the primary children sing I am a Child of God and and the young women say We are Daughters of our Heavenly Father. We talked about how much we both hate Twilight. We talked about bowling, comedy, his relationship with his family and my relationship with mine. We talked about music. We talked about everything. I told him about my role at EFY and what we teach the youth. I wanted him to feel loved. 

    Before I transferred buses I turned to him and said "Rome I hope you don't think this is weird, but I want to give you this gift." And he took the Book of Mormon and said "thanks! I'll read it!!" 

     I have a testimony of missionary work. I have a testimony that I am God's daughter. When you know who you are, it is no longer scary to share the truth with everyone. 

Peace

I'm in a weird stage of writers block where I have SO MUCH I can say, that I've pretty much decided to say nothing. Some of what I learned and felt last week at EFY is so precious and sacred to me that I could never attempt to write it. Maybe in the coming months an years I can impart pieces of it slowly. Very slowly. 

     This is my only week off of EFY for the summer. I am spending it at my favorite place in the world, my grandparent's cabin in Idaho, with my family. We are having fun and ignoring the outside world and letting ourselves be swallowed up in the mountains and the sound of the wind rushing through the Aspen leaves. 

     This morning, everyone went down to the lake and I stayed behind to pack lunch. After they were all gone I realized that I was alone, in my favorite place, and that this had never happened before. 

So I prayed. 

I kneeled down and talked out loud for a long time. I talked to Him about everything. It was wonderful. 

Again, I don't know how much attention my blog will get for the rest of the summer. But I wanted you to know when you find some quiet moments, take a minute and pray. Talk to your Father. He wants to hear from you. 

Dear Everyone,

Tomorrow it begins.

8 weeks of cheering, praying, laughing, sweating, listening, sharing, fretting, hoping, and loving.

8 weeks of singing, counting, leading, teaching, learning, dancing, planning, and problem solving.

8 weeks of the Hoedown Throwdown, We Like to Party, Best Days of Our Lives, Call Me Maybe, and every One Direction song under the sun.

8 weeks of teaching correct principles and watching them govern themselves.

8 weeks of miracles.

8 groups of youth that I will fall in love with, and then pray that they choose the right for the rest of their lives.

(notice how that list does not include sleeping ;) )

So, this blog will be a little neglected until August. Meet me on Instagram instead. #efy

Alright, alright, alright alright alright HEY!